Epiphany Tiffany

When you get grief for being yourself. Wanting to be free sometimes without catering to someone else. Because you deserve the time you get spend by yourself. You work so damn hard not to pay attention to you. Because you should be able to do anything you want to do,  Without giving someone else the power to dictate what is best or not for you.  Because you know your heart and soul is amazing. And this person will always be the only one complaining. Not allowing you to do simple things without a fight. Trying to force the words I love you down your throat and expecting you to say it back every time. But you keep giving chances. Because you can’t seem to wrap your own damn head around all of this madness.  Because you only see what’s good, not what’s bad. This is the problem and now look where you stand.  But the issue at hand isn’t "who I am". Yet they will always tell me ...

"The problem with assumptions is that we believe they are the truth" - Don Miguel Ruiz Assumption. There it is. That damn word. Why do we assume anyways? Is it because of the lack of truth behind what we are told? That the evaded truth gets replaced by our own assumptions, because we have no proof of what it actually is? Leaving us to only place assumptions for the lack of confirmations. And what if our very own assumptions aren’t even true? Yet we still find some type of belief in those? Then what? We are faced with security? With no doubt? With pure happiness and joy? I beg to differ. Because when we assume, usually it’s not in a positive aspect. Because if we have to assume anything, it's only because the truth wasn't granted, leaving us to author our very own. Because as the definition itself states. An assumption is only accepted as truth without any proof behind it. So how can we truly rely on our assumptions? Truth without proof. It’s like relying on the l...

"You do not just wake up and become a butterfly, growth is a process" -Rupi Kaur Growth is a process. That stuck with me. Because I am extremely hard on myself. All the time. Aren't we all? But I look back at myself only a year ago, and have made so much progress. On top of being set back just six months ago with a huge life changing event that nearly killed that growth progress, I still look back and see even more growth within myself. I always continue to move forward, and to grow, although sometimes I still feel like the ugly caterpillar wanting to run and hide back into my safe cocoon. Why do we see ourselves so harshly? Yet we see others and admire them. Admiring even the moths that try to fool us to believe they themselves are also butterflies. But they are not, and will never be. Don't let them fool you. Some will always just be a moth wearing and taring at you, trying to bring you down. But its okay, you cannot control what others say and do. Keep being y...

I can get rid of all the things, Pack them up and ship it all off, So I think the haunting memories will begin to stop. Turns out I cannot get rid of my heart, The residual damage still lingered there inside of the dark. Sometimes I feel the hurt sometimes I don’t, But just because it’s gone now doesn’t mean that I won’t. Just because something touched every piece of my existence, Doesn’t mean that it won’t leave me defeat-less. Even if I was defeated by your love itself, I'll still face the ghosts that like to remind me just how it felt. The happy, the sad, the highs and the lows, These ghosts take me right back to the moments that I let go. But I still see the night sky, the planets and our star, I still see you driving everywhere inside of your car. When I’m driving long drives, I remember all of ours, Babes, the happy cows, holy water and our dream cars. When you said, you wish you would’ve had kids with me, How I would’ve done anything f...

So i'm out with my single girlfriends, and we get into conversation about how all the good guys marry the mean girls. You know the girls that are defined as crazy, the bitches , the girls that these guys will always chase, because they don't give a fuck about anything let alone a good guy that likes them. But that only makes him want her more. Because according to the hot guy bartender that tried to counsel us single ladies into being that crazy mean girl so more men will like us. Apparently these "good guys" only want love if its torture, just like Taylor Swift says. Go-figure.  So are we completely screwed if we are good girls that don't like drama, confrontation, or being mean and crazy? We're just girls that actually love love, and enjoy happiness in life and even guy stuff. Unlike those prissy needy mean girls that make their man beg and chase them just to get a damn bone. And does that make us single girls easy just because we also love sex and want t...

Ever feel like people try to influence you to believe what love actually is, what it should be, how it should feel, and what it is or is not based on their own version of it? My understanding is that love is special and its something real and true, because it's really only a feeling felt. I mean have you ever actually looked up the actual definition of it? The definition of Love in the dictionary is a noun that is an intense feeling of deep affection. And then its followed by the verb, which is to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. So i'm a bit confused as to why people are so damn afraid to Love since the definition speaks for itself because we are all performing love actions, only we're not expressing them. Is that the problem here? And I'm sure you have all heard the famous  "Love is patient, love is kind"  scripture, that comes straight from the bible as the bibles definition of what love means. Which is another analogy as to what love ...

Ever feel like people just expect you to be perfect LIKE ALL THE TIME? Because yeah, you do care about not only your perception, about everything , so you try your hardest to make everyone happy, because you are a doer, and care so so much. But did you ever think that you are just setting the bar so damn high that you're leaving no room for failure? And I wouldn't even say failure, it’s more like errors. And If you do mess up, that perception of being so damn perfect is all of a sudden now a perception of an asshole, of someone who doesn't care, because at that point people are only focusing on your flaws because they HAD that expectation of your perfection. Expectations. There it is.  People expect someone that cares, who tries, who constantly does their best, who is always there for others, who loves, who is always kind, sweet, nice and helpful, someone who always has all the answers, who is beautiful, who has an amazing heart, and who never says no, to always be...

Are we only illustrating false love actions by being intimately involved without the actual commitment? Is that why we assume that we feel in love?  Because when we become intimate with someone we have feelings for, we automatically think that it has to have a meaning? But love is more than just a physical act, so why do we give our love anyway assuming that they feel the same way, when we never knew for sure how they felt to begin with, and yet we still give our heart away like its free change. Is this when "Love" turns into a game? Ever feel like you have reached a breaking point when you feel in love? Like they're just playing games with your heart, playing with your mind, and your emotions like a used penny slot machine, and you're just one out of a bunch of others waiting to finally "win them?" Like helllooo, I'm here, I want you, I give you all the girlfriend/boyfriend benefits and yet you still never send me flowers, or talk for hours, or ev...