Chasing Butterflies.

"Don't waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come."-Mario Quintana

That first time feeling. The excitement. The send me to heaven with that smile. The feeling inside you get when you receive a text or call from them. That giddy, young feeling that we want to feel all the time. It's instant attraction, plus the unknown. The mystery of whats to come next. This is the feeling we want to keep, so why does it go away?  What is so damn good about these butterflies anyway? Because we all know it fades. Or does it if we are with the right one, will those butterflies stay? I'd like to hope so. But all I've witnessed is break ups, divorces, and hurtful heartbreaks all because of those damn butterflies. So it had me thinking. Maybe if we stop allowing the instant gratifications to lead to our choices, we would be able to find something more enduring.

Maybe if we actually allowed ourselves time to chase our own dreams to build our own wings. I think if we focus on our own beauty (no not Botox, although it does totally beautify our outer self) I'm talking about butterflying our insides. Building ourselves up mentally and spiritually so we don't need to rely on a damn instant gratification to please us. Because my darling, you will always have gratification when you are content with yourself, and it will not just be for an instant. Sure, instant is always easier. But it was built to be quick. Not everlasting. If you rely on those butterflies to keep your relationship alive, well, it will die as fast as the instant cup of noodles turns cold. Of course its amazing to feel something special. Instant or not. We live to feel. We want to feel. I'm not saying not to feel. But I truly believe there is solid gratification once you realize your self worth. Those butterflies will stay with you, because you won't rely on them just to feel content. 

But I totally get it. I see something I admire and it makes my heart race. But is that a sign my body is telling me to steer clear from? A warning sign? Sure it might feel good, but in the long run is it going to last? Like eating that deceiving cookie. It makes my taste buds go wild. So I indulge in it. But the more cookies I eat, only hurts me eventually. Broccoli, well its not instantly gratifying, but it sure tastes good and is good for me.  At what point did we choose the deception of a cookie to be good for us?  Because I want someone to make me feel like broccoli does, not cookies. But why are we all settling with the cookie and marrying the instant gratification instead of the long term satisfaction? It blows my mind. We all chase these butterflies. Then end up chasing those butterflies off of a twenty year marriage cliff. Finding something better is what makes our souls feel alive. Like somehow we won. But little do we know the butterflies never stop flying. The more we chase them, the more they lead us to different destinations. Never finding satisfaction in one single place. But we keep chasing them like its what we are programmed for. Programmed to chase a feeling to keep chasing the same feeling over and over again seems robotic. But I've done it. We all have. Beauty surrounds us. Capturing our eyes, making our hearts take off like a commercial jet. Thinking we instantly met the one. Love at first sight. But that's just attraction. Looks fade, people change. You only see what you want to see in them. There's so much you evade when you rely on that feeling. You learn the truth and then find it somewhere else. Chasing those damn butterflies again. When you really think about it, its a vicious circle of the same feelings for different destinations. So how do we find broccoli when we keep going after the instant gratification, like the damn cookie? We're obviously looking in all the wrong places. Chasing those butterflies into traps. 

I want to be the butterfly that finds one place to land. Because I sure as hell don't want to keep chasing the same feeling that fades. I believe that the less you chase, the longer you have to wait. But its a good thing. To wait for the right butterfly to find you wherever you are. SO STOP CHASING THEM. The right butterfly will find you when you least expect it. He might fall down from Texas chasing the wild fires in cowboy boots. Not butterflies! And when you see him blink twice and pinch yourself. Let that be the instant gratification you remember. How it felt when you realized you weren't dreaming and actually felt the pinch, not what his smile did. Never rely on that instant gratification to be your lifetime progression. Because it takes work, effort, strength, love, respect, laughter, kindness, and my dear god lots of dirty work to keep a solid foundation of a relationship. It won't always be pretty like his smile the first time he laid eyes on you, or anything else for that matter. You got to deal with his crap too. And hes got to deal with yours. If you both rely on the high you felt when you first met, you might as well call a cab and kiss each other goodbye, because you're only fooling yourselves.  

I obviously haven't found my broccoli yet, but I'm aware of it. Aware that chasing butterflies only leads me to chase more butterflies, not broccoli. I think once we become consciously aware of our efforts and life's facades, we can see the realness in trusting our own desires by waiting for them. Because nothing enduring will ever be instant. Yea, maybe some of us live for instant gratifications. Maybe some of us live for more than what fades. We long for our desires to be met, and sometimes we just want the darn cookie! We just need to be honest with ourselves so we can decipher what is important to us. Because once we are confident and content with ourselves, we will be more than capable of finding a healthy balance of cookies and broccoli with the right person. Because life will always guide us where we are supposed to be. And some of us will just keep chasing butterflies and never be satisfied with a damn thing.

Written By: Tiffany Bales