As Good As You Were Lousy

Why'd you have to be,
As good as you were lousy.
Babe, 

You truly fuckin had me,
Admiring reality.
Then swept the rug out,
From underneath me. 

I've been hurt before.
Falling for good looking words.
How'd I not see,
You had me assured.
Being all opposite,
From the usual dudes, 

I favored. 

Then turned out,

To be exactly the same. 
When I would've made you, 
The President,

Of my hall of fame.
But you shot yourself down.
Forging that fame into shame. 

When I was stressed,
You'd tell me you got this.
What happened baby,
What forced you,
Leaping off of our cliffs.

I never thought for a second,

You’d do this.

Remembering, 

Relentless consistence.
Really tried to make me all yours.
Capturing me from a distance.
Until shit got real.
And you fucking vanished. 

Cascaded,

Meaning and purpose.
Just to go fucking ghost,
Without telling me shit.
Haunting my mind
As if a sniper triggered,
Numerous hits.

I wish I'd forget.
The good guy I 
Fraternized with. 
You said you weren't a bad guy,
Then showed me,
A man totally different.

Why'd you have to be,
Marvelous.
Just to make me fucking depressed. 
Throwing a wrench.
While I was,

Falling in love,

With an acceptable gent.

What happened to him.
Was I truly blinded,
By an excellent pretense.
Or was it me who spooked away,
A callow cadet.  

Although, sometimes I wish 
That we never met.
A part of me could hate you,
I am so fucking pissed.
But the good girl inside,
Keeps telling,

My heart to forgive. 

Are you just 

A scared little kid.

When feelings got deep,
You didn’t handle anything, 
Like you said. 

I’ve never been 

So sure of anything. 
Or so fucking calm, 
While you were with me.

Maybe I’m crazy,
But I’ve never been ghosted,
By somebody steady. 
Damn boy,
Why’d you have to be as good 
As you were lousy. 



Written by Epiphany Tiffany