Vanished

Vanished.
Like we never happened.
As if once upon a time, 
You were never,

A part of my existence.
How can I stay whole, 
With such a haunting persistence.

 
Cause we were solid,

Till you ghosted,
For my birthday present.
Such a brutal gift,
I forgot to thank you for it. 

Then rose from the dead,

As if that shit never happened.
Then went silent again.

Right after that wound,
Barely reopened.

Still.
Between the hurt, 

and laughtergasms, 
I fell into your witty sarcasm. 
I lingered on the edge, 

Of your rocky yet stable mountain.

I cared so deep.  
Unwaveringly, devoted.

That storm inside me softened.
Till you reflected,
Chards of darkness.
And shattered my soul 
Once I realized,
You were made to vanish.

I still fed you countless chances.

Your heart remained,
Fucking barricaded.
Locked away. 
As if I was breaking and entering, 
Just trying to get to it. 

And that wandering soul,
Afraid of commitment. 
Treating our love,
As if it’s suspended. 
That shit,

The universe always releases.

An unborn love,

I was unready to relinquish.
So I had no choice,
But to free it. 

Even if, 
We missed each other.

The storm that rules our sky,
Is stronger.

Did you speak your truth,
Just to surrender?

Or did you do it,
Just to make,

Your conscious better.

Cause here I am.
With questions,

That echo,
Louder than answers.

Forced to forget,
Unfortunate circumstances.

Searching for your gaze,

In other lovers glances.
Lost in the wondering maze, 
Of all those fleeting chances.

Maybe someday, 

I’ll let go,

Of all the narratives,

I dance,
Around your absence. 

Maybe someday,

I’ll understand,
The real reasons,
Why you vanished. 

Babe.

Why did you

Vanish?

Written by Epiphany Tiffany