Twice in Two Decades-Poem

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“I can’t stop you from leaving, and you can’t stop me from loving you” - Gone West

 

“I will always love you.”

Why sing that to me 

if you didn’t mean it?

Just for me to remove 

The Cure “Lovesong” off of my playlist?

I wish I could take it back now 

if I’m being honest. 

Because you found your happiness. 

I’m left with the residue of these heartaches 

that you left me with. 


The pain fades as time passes by,

But the scars still linger like tattoos 

inside of my brain that keep asking myself why. 

Why I thought forever with you would of been like 

spending eternity in heaven. 

But it’s not my fault what could’ve been didn’t happen.


And it has been a long road getting over you.

So please don’t let your mind ever accrue,

Thoughts about me.

Because I’ve been praying for decades 

for that chain around my heart to break free.

 

Because seriously.

Twice in two decades 

with matching five years of heartbreaking hurts,

Might as well be thirty years 

buried deep down into the cold hard dirt. 

somehow, I still arose from the ground by being gracefully exert. 


But a year is like a rose 

locked up inside of a vault.

When you go back to it 

doesn’t mean it’s not going to be there at all. 

It doesn’t disintegrate or disappear.

You can’t lie to yourself or pretend 

it was never there.

When you open the door 

you’ll find the once beautiful delicate rose,

Dried up, dead, forgotten and all alone. 

Now imagine that rose as your heart.

That’s how mine felt 

both times you tore it apart. 

 

And it’s probably because 

your false persona made me believe you were different.

As I held on to the past love I had for you, 

and over saw it.

Becoming that naive girl again,

Evading the truth 

just to have something between us begin again.

 

I’m a strong woman that finds her way out.

While dragged through hell 

I still managed to smile somehow. 

I may have lost you.

But my life wasn’t over 

just because my heart didn’t get what I hoped you’d choose. 

 

I know life isn’t fair. 

And I’ll always walk away if I don’t belong there. 

Or if life leads me down a different path.

Even if it hurts, 

I’ve learned now to never run back. 


Cause twice in two decades 

is still greater than settling for a lifetime 

with someone that lied straight to my face. 

Even if it takes five more years 

for my heart to be okay, 

Or the possibility 

that this feeling will never go away. 


Life taught me how to love  

with my entire heart.

I had to lose you to learn 

you were an obstacle 

guiding me to a brand new start.  

Cause twice in two decades,

Still brought us apart.



Written by: Epiphany Tiffany

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