A Love Like Broccoli

Sometimes, it can take completely stepping out of your comfort to find what's good for you. The hard truth is, you were never really attracted to what’s good for you before. Sure, maybe you wanted someone to treat you the same way broccoli is good for your body. But kept drooling over the damn sugary cake! The issue is, you needed to learn to actually like the taste of broccoli before you could go and appreciate its goodness. Because, if something is truly good for you, just like broccoli is, it will taste and feel better than any cake. Ever crave something so sweet, but eat it and immediately feel sick after? That’s your body rejecting it. Your gut tells you a lot about food, and people for that matter. And I’d prefer a cool glass of water type of man, over the Casanova type any day. So how do we teach our hearts to crave something healthy if we’ve never been with it before? How do we teach ourselves to be attracted to what’s good for us, like broccoli, when we are usually attracted to sugary shitbags.

I can recall how that sugar coated high liking what’s bad for me made me feel…instantly satisfied. Until I got the stomachache…okay, heartache. The same type of heartache that good girl in high school got because she was attracted to skater boys, thanks to Avril Lavigne. But honey we are almost forty, not fourteen! We need to admire beauty on the inside. Sure, I’m a sucker for a nice smile and eyes because they are truly important. There’s a reason we go to the damn dentist and optometrist. You got to be able to SEE to stop being blinded by merely attraction. Blind people with those white teeth, not false identities. Look inward at yourself. You are the damn full package. But your track record can make you seem not so smart. AND you are fucking smart, so act like it. You got to change what attracts you. So when someone actually comes along that is good, you’ll be satisfied by their smile and laugh. Or the way they are super consistent and considerate. Being able to see them for more than what they look like is fucking sexy as hell to me. To actually include someone you like in your goodnight prayers. Fuck those you up texts at two in the morning. I’d rather be in someone’s prayers and goodnight beautifuls before they go to sleep than in those rotational text threats of sleaze. Cause one day you actually find someone you’re praying for before bed and thinking about so much more than physical things. And suddenly a whole damn entourage of fear may bring every single damn insecurity inside you have out. But this is where discernment is key. Because holy fuck you are in uncharted waters. You are not swimming with the damn great whites like you're used to, but you are emotionally diving deep. So take it slow and allow him to lead. Just tell yourself, you are in the flower fields, and sure you might have allergies, but there is no danger here, just a little dander. Don’t fear the damn shark tank when you aren’t anywhere near it.  

Face it, you’ve been stabbed by the damn knife that dished out the sweet satan cake one to many times. But broccoli only gives you gas. Not heartache. Whenever I get super excited in a healthy way, it’s not triggering intrusive thoughts. It’s almost comparable to that feeling we got when we were seven going to Disneyland, except now you’re thirty-seven and old, so it feels more like you got to take a shit. And broccoli isn’t perfect. Hell, no one is. And sometimes that gas pain can get mistaken as heartburn, and you get yourself all fucked up because of your own past experiences. That’s just fear my doll. Fears can fuck with our day. But they can also deter good broccoli away. Making the broccoli release bad gas that feels as if the broccoli is rejecting you. But it’s only rejecting the unhealthy parts the damn demon cake taught you, not you. You got to get rid of all the toxic crap you’ve stored inside from eating all that bullshit. It isn’t sustainable to live unhealthily. Just because he’s good for your hole, doesn’t mean he’s good for your soul. Remember that when faced with desire. Be grateful he is interested in more than instant gratifications. Ever think that maybe he sees the goodness in you, too? So don’t fuck it up.

I like to think of a good man as broccoli because that’s how he’s going to make me feel. He will bring out the best and worst of me, not to tempt me, but to challenge me. It will only open the road to be better. Sometimes those fears come out to make you see what you got to fix. Don't reject or fear the unknown, that's when the blank canvas begins to embark on its beautiful masterpiece. That’s when something healthy and epic can really begin. Don’t ruin something good for you because of past fails. We got to believe we will never lose what’s meant for us. So, there is no need to stress. Stay humble and trust in the divines process. Maybe we keep losing because we keep attracting the wrong things. So of course, it will keep not working out until it does. 

Because babe, you deserve fields of broccoli to nourish and fuel your heart and soul for goods sake. Because you are a good human with a good heart and deserve the world. Don’t settle for the weasels that feast from the garbage. Think what that says about you, if you are attracted to that. You have to take some sort of accountability in what you want and what you truly believe you deserve. Once you realize you deserve more, you won’t be attracted to the sleazy trash diggers. Sure, it is terrifyingly scary to put your heart and self out on that power line. But it’s who you are. You jump heart first. You love love. You don’t want to be alone, but you will never settle. You want the real deal and that takes patience, kindness and a whole lot of God and grace. Sometimes you do get fooled by what looks like broccoli, because it's all dazzled up in love bombing packaging. Don't fall for potential. Fall for that merit. Fall not for the lies that’s painted with tongue, but for the actions expelled through stable character. Time will show you truth. As it always does. Trust in that. Enjoy the genuinely cute and refreshingly good for your soul type. After all the hell you’ve been through, you finally want, crave and fucking deserve… a love like broccoli. 

Written by Epiphany Tiffany