Epiphany Tiffany

I’m not crying over you. I don’t wish I was riding shot gun  in your car sitting next to you. This bitterness only comes  when my path crosses you. I only wish I had a bottle of tequila  and lime  to go with the saltiness your presence endues.  But it's only noon. And seeing you actually helps me forget  the shit that my mind is currently going through. But then I see him  and he takes my mind off of you. It’s like a vicious circle  of a tad bit confused. Because I truly can’t stand  either of you. To tell you the truth,  enough tears have already been shed over you. That water well ran dry  the day I found out you said I do. And well,  he was the first obstacle within my view. I should’ve drowned in those tears  instead of letting him pursue. But that’s a whole other story  for me to come to terms to. Yet gladly,  I’m still not crying over you. I’m strong  because I know that I have no other choice but to b...

"Online dating helps me meet and breakup with someone without leaving the house" -Covid I feel this is a subject that has loads of stories and wild experiences. From my own, my girlfriends, and my guy friends, the stories are endless and relentless. And it baffles me why we still put ourselves out there with hope. But we do, because we believe that like our beautiful, talented and amazing selves, there is someone just the same waiting for us. Which I totally believe is true. But this new alternative universe we live in with Covid and all, makes online dating really the only place to meet and greet potentials. So we find ourselves on those apps now more than social media, looking for the one. But is he or she on there? One can only hope so. The real deal about being single in a pandemic totally sucks. You have soooo much free time to get to know someone on a deeper level, and even more time in the bedroom. While us single folk are over here eating ding dongs and skinny pop li...

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"The problem with assumptions is that we believe they are the truth" - Don Miguel Ruiz Assumption. There it is. That damn word. Why do we assume anyways? Is it because of the lack of truth behind what we are told? That the evaded truth gets replaced by our own assumptions, because we have no proof of what it actually is? Leaving us to only place assumptions for the lack of confirmations. And what if our very own assumptions aren’t even true? Yet we still find some type of belief in those? Then what? We are faced with security? With no doubt? With pure happiness and joy? I beg to differ. Because when we assume, usually it’s not in a positive aspect. Because if we have to assume anything, it's only because the truth wasn't granted, leaving us to author our very own. Because as the definition itself states. An assumption is only accepted as truth without any proof behind it. So how can we truly rely on our assumptions? Truth without proof. It’s like relying on the l...

Ever feel like people are judging you no matter what you do? Like you work out, feel great mentally, and have it all together. But then feel lonely because no one seems to understand you, but you. Then mentally you have a setback, and you feel like everything you've worked so hard for is crumbling down to the ground…OVER NOTHING. Of course we always want to seem like we have it all together, that we are happy and perfectly put, but sometimes we stumble and make mistakes. We are human. AND THAT IS PERFECTLY OKAY. DO YOU. It's okay to not always be okay. We are SO hard on ourselves and others. But the people who truly do care about us will always be there no matter what. Have you ever heard of that saying, only the true people in your life that do care can actually hear your silence? So it had me thinking. The quality of our life are not those around us, it's what's within us. So do you, boo. Maybe sometimes our very own illusions are the cause of our disillusionment. A...

"Nothing is forever, forever is a lie. All we have is what's between hello and goodbye." - Marilyn Bergman If you had the chance to have a last word with someone, what would you say? I don't hate you, I'm sorry, or maybe even I love you, and goodbye? So it had me thinking. When people are in our lives, we never really know when we will say our last words to them. So if we had the chance to actually say something because we actually knew it would be the last thing we would say, what would it be? Would it be how they made us feel? Or would it be the anger they brought out of us? Would we all be able to let go and forgive better because we have prior notice and confirmation of last words to them? We are all in moments and time with people in our lives and somehow they make an impact on us. I mean you can’t choose what happens, nor what the outcome will be when they aren't. That's just life. People move on, some have you there to conquer a plan, some love y...

"You do not just wake up and become a butterfly, growth is a process" -Rupi Kaur Growth is a process. That stuck with me. Because I am extremely hard on myself. All the time. Aren't we all? But I look back at myself only a year ago, and have made so much progress. On top of being set back just six months ago with a huge life changing event that nearly killed that growth progress, I still look back and see even more growth within myself. I always continue to move forward, and to grow, although sometimes I still feel like the ugly caterpillar wanting to run and hide back into my safe cocoon. Why do we see ourselves so harshly? Yet we see others and admire them. Admiring even the moths that try to fool us to believe they themselves are also butterflies. But they are not, and will never be. Don't let them fool you. Some will always just be a moth wearing and taring at you, trying to bring you down. But its okay, you cannot control what others say and do. Keep being y...

"Love and war are the same thing, and stratagems and policy are as allowable in the one as in the other." - Miguel De Cervantes Blue, your eyes so blue. Just like the way that I felt when you left the room. But my heart held back because I wanted it to be detached from you. Yet I felt your haze finding its way through my hearts heavily armed and guarded maze. I'm not sure that my army of soldiers were even enough to battle your vigorous strength. So I wasn't sure what to do. Because I couldn't admit to myself the way that I thought that I could feel about you. And my mind forgot to remind me to play it cool. When you laid right next to me inside of my room. So I lost control and let you consume. Because you made me want you so bad. That I couldn’t help but have you anyway that I realistically could have. And that energy ignited into a burning desire. And you made it all worth it, completely fueling my fire. And the feeling began to spark into a burni...

So i'm out with my single girlfriends, and we get into conversation about how all the good guys marry the mean girls. You know the girls that are defined as crazy, the bitches , the girls that these guys will always chase, because they don't give a fuck about anything let alone a good guy that likes them. But that only makes him want her more. Because according to the hot guy bartender that tried to counsel us single ladies into being that crazy mean girl so more men will like us. Apparently these "good guys" only want love if its torture, just like Taylor Swift says. Go-figure.  So are we completely screwed if we are good girls that don't like drama, confrontation, or being mean and crazy? We're just girls that actually love love, and enjoy happiness in life and even guy stuff. Unlike those prissy needy mean girls that make their man beg and chase them just to get a damn bone. And does that make us single girls easy just because we also love sex and want t...

Ever feel like people try to influence you to believe what love actually is, what it should be, how it should feel, and what it is or is not based on their own version of it? My understanding is that love is special and its something real and true, because it's really only a feeling felt. I mean have you ever actually looked up the actual definition of it? The definition of Love in the dictionary is a noun that is an intense feeling of deep affection. And then its followed by the verb, which is to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. So i'm a bit confused as to why people are so damn afraid to Love since the definition speaks for itself because we are all performing love actions, only we're not expressing them. Is that the problem here? And I'm sure you have all heard the famous  "Love is patient, love is kind"  scripture, that comes straight from the bible as the bibles definition of what love means. Which is another analogy as to what love ...

Why do we feel the need to decode our feelings, relationships, friendships and dating, and label them as a lesson or a blessing? And these connections we try so hard to understand in full aspect.  Why do people always say in the end that if it’s not a blessing, then it’s a lesson? I just don’t get it. But I’ll try too.  I feel the need to bring this up, because I already mentioned how I truly believe that all things do happen for a reason, and usually, yeah things that happen could potentially be a blessing or a lesson, but what if its neither? And you still don't know exactly what it is? Could that be why you are unable to move forward, and is the only reason we are able to accept things and move on, because we actually learned something from them? So obviously, if we haven't moved on is it because it truly is a blessing? I can relate to that.   So how do you know exactly if it was a lesson? Just because you learned that you two aren't meant to be? Or that you lear...