Last Words
"Nothing is forever, forever is a lie. All we have is what's between hello and goodbye."
- Marilyn Bergman
If you had the chance to have a last word with someone, what would you say? I don't hate you, I'm sorry, or maybe even I love you, and goodbye? So it had me thinking. When people are in our lives, we never really know when we will say our last words to them. So if we had the chance to actually say something because we actually knew it would be the last thing we would say, what would it be? Would it be how they made us feel? Or would it be the anger they brought out of us? Would we all be able to let go and forgive better because we have prior notice and confirmation of last words to them?
We are all in moments and time with people in our lives and somehow they make an impact on us. I mean you can’t choose what happens, nor what the outcome will be when they aren't. That's just life. People move on, some have you there to conquer a plan, some love you, some use you, and that is okay. People leave, they hold on, they move on, and they die. So we may never truly know why our paths crossed come to an end. But if we had the power to choose and confirm our last words, wouldn't that be something?
We would all get closure, and be able to heal properly right? I think one of the hardest things that we have to deal with in the end is truth. We all want to know and be told the truth. But it is so hard to speak, especially if its harsh truth. To tell someone how they make us feel, or to be honest and tell them our last words is rough. Because, lets face it, people are afraid of endings. But to say how you feel, being truthful is better than not saying anything at all in the end. I think people would be more truthful and respectful if more people actually told the truth, and it would be a chain effect. I don't care what your truth is. If you went back to your crazy ex, or if you just don't like me. Tell me straight up. I can handle anything. I would much rather have someone’s last words be harsh, than nonexistent. But that's the issue these days. People ghost people without explanation. It’s terribly sad. What happened to kindness in all aspects? Like I’d rather you tell me to my face that you don't like me then disrupt my thoughts with silence. At least I’d know the truth. So I can move on.
If you had the chance to have a last word with someone, what would you say? I don't hate you, I'm sorry, or maybe even I love you, and goodbye? So it had me thinking. When people are in our lives, we never really know when we will say our last words to them. So if we had the chance to actually say something because we actually knew it would be the last thing we would say, what would it be? Would it be how they made us feel? Or would it be the anger they brought out of us? Would we all be able to let go and forgive better because we have prior notice and confirmation of last words to them?
We are all in moments and time with people in our lives and somehow they make an impact on us. I mean you can’t choose what happens, nor what the outcome will be when they aren't. That's just life. People move on, some have you there to conquer a plan, some love you, some use you, and that is okay. People leave, they hold on, they move on, and they die. So we may never truly know why our paths crossed come to an end. But if we had the power to choose and confirm our last words, wouldn't that be something?
We would all get closure, and be able to heal properly right? I think one of the hardest things that we have to deal with in the end is truth. We all want to know and be told the truth. But it is so hard to speak, especially if its harsh truth. To tell someone how they make us feel, or to be honest and tell them our last words is rough. Because, lets face it, people are afraid of endings. But to say how you feel, being truthful is better than not saying anything at all in the end. I think people would be more truthful and respectful if more people actually told the truth, and it would be a chain effect. I don't care what your truth is. If you went back to your crazy ex, or if you just don't like me. Tell me straight up. I can handle anything. I would much rather have someone’s last words be harsh, than nonexistent. But that's the issue these days. People ghost people without explanation. It’s terribly sad. What happened to kindness in all aspects? Like I’d rather you tell me to my face that you don't like me then disrupt my thoughts with silence. At least I’d know the truth. So I can move on.
So there it is, the infamous Ghosting. This is something that I just don't understand. Anyone can block anyone out of their lives as if they never existed nowadays. We have all done it. We all have that list of blocked contacts. So maybe reading this helps you determine your own truths. Why did we block them? Think about it. Were they crazy? And by crazy I mean stalker crazy. Not the kind where you think three messages in one day is too much kind of crazy. Were we being harassed? That's a good reason to get blocked. Have you ever thought that maybe you got blocked and ghosted because that person had hidden truths of their own that you had no idea about? Maybe they are married and you were just a side chick and you had no idea. Be thankful you didn't get stalked down by the real truth there. But even then, you can only hope for some sort of honesty right? I mean shouldn't it be YOUR choice to perceive someone based off of their truth? Shouldn't we get to decide whether or not we want to be the fucking side chick? We really don't know the real ins and outs as to why people are in their relationships anyways. All relationships are different. Some are open, some are totally damaged. But with truth, at least it gives you the opportunity to choose what you want to do with it. Not being blindsided by it when it does come out, because it always does. Then you get blocked and ghosted to close off the damaged roadway that you didn't even know existed in the first place, thinking it must of been you. It happens to the best of us. But the truth is, goodbyes are inevitable. Whether it’s by being ghosted, left, or straight up being the one that does the leaving, it happens. So if we could have the ability to have or say the last word, no matter what side of the ending spectrum we are on, shouldn’t we believe it could positively affect the outcome of our emotions in the end? I do.
Sometimes people leave without notice and quickly fade out of our lives. Some leave quickly but with a category five hurricane force behind them. Some hold on for dear life when you wish they would just let go already. Then there's some you hold on to, but life has other plans. We really cannot hate anyone for that. So, if we all had the opportunity to say a last word, maybe there would be a lot less of those tragic assumptions. There it is, assumptions. Our minds always assume the worst. But when faced with the truth, we develop an understanding and that’s all we really need for a clear beginning and ending. I mean what is the big deal anyways. But when people leave without saying goodbye, it creates those what if haunting ghosts. Or when their supposed last words are unclear, it brings out the questions and assumptions in our minds. So If we were all more specific, those what if ghosts wouldn't haunt us would they?
I believe we all have the power to eliminate a lot of what ifs in our lives. But some people play mind games and make it harder. Like maybe they do like you, and for them it truly isn't a good time in their lives for you. But they also don't want to end it or give you any closure to actually let them go, so they ghost and block you until they decide to come back. Always keeping you on their strings to master. This is not okay! If people are doing this to you, you should block them! Placing assumptions for lack of confirmation shouldn't ever be allowable, but unfortunately, it happens all the time. So having the ability to tell them your last words would be the solution they needed to stop employing the assumptions that your ghosting silence created. I mean think about it that way. If we had that ability, I’m not saying it wouldn't be easier to let them go, or to be the one honestly telling them you don't like them, is easy, both are hard things to do. But by being truthful, open and honest, you build your character for the good. Instead of creating haunting ghosts that always come back to question your schemes, you create closure by ending it for good. Sometimes you just need closure to feel better about the hard endings. To be able to say goodbye to someone that you are going to lose makes you think clearer. I live by that famous saying.
"Live like you are dying"
We wouldn't sit there and watch Netflix movies and waste away our final days negatively right? If we were able to end things wouldn't we want to end them in a good way? I know sure would.
Of course we don't always have the power to tell someone goodbye. Because our loved ones can die without us being able to tell them anything, let alone how they made us feel. That's why I’m all for always, no matter what, expressing my feelings to people I love, or anyone in my life in general. By making it clear as day without holding anything back. To be able to say goodbye won't stop the tears, or the sadness that comes with it, but it allows nothing to be left unsaid. As that’s when our own healing begins. So we are already ahead. Even friendships, acquaintances, or casual random people affect us. When you are honest with them, even if it’s not what they want to hear, you still become respected by them. That is true character. Shit I'd rather be respected for telling the hurtful truth, than disrespected for doing the complete opposite. Like ghosting, lying, blocking, being fake, those things are just plain out disrespectful.
I see life as precious, valuable and meaningful. So everyone in my life has merit to me. Every. Single. Person. Place and thing. I love all humanity, so even those that I cross pass in the grocery store I smile and say hi to. If anyone comes into my life that wants to play games and ghost me, lie to me, and block me, they don't deserve a place in my life anyway. If I had the opportunity to say anything to them, it would be thanking them for revealing their true character to me. A character that is way played out and undeserving of a kind sweet woman's time like mine anyways. It's my choice to choose the people that impact me, who make a difference and who I do or don't love. It's only your choice to confirm or contest my perception of you. The truth is always revealed, with last words or not. That only proves that they aren't supposed to be in your life anyway. So let them go, cut those strings, and stop those what if ghosts and assumptions inside your minds. If you had the chance to have a last word with them, it would be Goodbye anyways.
Sometimes people leave without notice and quickly fade out of our lives. Some leave quickly but with a category five hurricane force behind them. Some hold on for dear life when you wish they would just let go already. Then there's some you hold on to, but life has other plans. We really cannot hate anyone for that. So, if we all had the opportunity to say a last word, maybe there would be a lot less of those tragic assumptions. There it is, assumptions. Our minds always assume the worst. But when faced with the truth, we develop an understanding and that’s all we really need for a clear beginning and ending. I mean what is the big deal anyways. But when people leave without saying goodbye, it creates those what if haunting ghosts. Or when their supposed last words are unclear, it brings out the questions and assumptions in our minds. So If we were all more specific, those what if ghosts wouldn't haunt us would they?
I believe we all have the power to eliminate a lot of what ifs in our lives. But some people play mind games and make it harder. Like maybe they do like you, and for them it truly isn't a good time in their lives for you. But they also don't want to end it or give you any closure to actually let them go, so they ghost and block you until they decide to come back. Always keeping you on their strings to master. This is not okay! If people are doing this to you, you should block them! Placing assumptions for lack of confirmation shouldn't ever be allowable, but unfortunately, it happens all the time. So having the ability to tell them your last words would be the solution they needed to stop employing the assumptions that your ghosting silence created. I mean think about it that way. If we had that ability, I’m not saying it wouldn't be easier to let them go, or to be the one honestly telling them you don't like them, is easy, both are hard things to do. But by being truthful, open and honest, you build your character for the good. Instead of creating haunting ghosts that always come back to question your schemes, you create closure by ending it for good. Sometimes you just need closure to feel better about the hard endings. To be able to say goodbye to someone that you are going to lose makes you think clearer. I live by that famous saying.
"Live like you are dying"
We wouldn't sit there and watch Netflix movies and waste away our final days negatively right? If we were able to end things wouldn't we want to end them in a good way? I know sure would.
Of course we don't always have the power to tell someone goodbye. Because our loved ones can die without us being able to tell them anything, let alone how they made us feel. That's why I’m all for always, no matter what, expressing my feelings to people I love, or anyone in my life in general. By making it clear as day without holding anything back. To be able to say goodbye won't stop the tears, or the sadness that comes with it, but it allows nothing to be left unsaid. As that’s when our own healing begins. So we are already ahead. Even friendships, acquaintances, or casual random people affect us. When you are honest with them, even if it’s not what they want to hear, you still become respected by them. That is true character. Shit I'd rather be respected for telling the hurtful truth, than disrespected for doing the complete opposite. Like ghosting, lying, blocking, being fake, those things are just plain out disrespectful.
I see life as precious, valuable and meaningful. So everyone in my life has merit to me. Every. Single. Person. Place and thing. I love all humanity, so even those that I cross pass in the grocery store I smile and say hi to. If anyone comes into my life that wants to play games and ghost me, lie to me, and block me, they don't deserve a place in my life anyway. If I had the opportunity to say anything to them, it would be thanking them for revealing their true character to me. A character that is way played out and undeserving of a kind sweet woman's time like mine anyways. It's my choice to choose the people that impact me, who make a difference and who I do or don't love. It's only your choice to confirm or contest my perception of you. The truth is always revealed, with last words or not. That only proves that they aren't supposed to be in your life anyway. So let them go, cut those strings, and stop those what if ghosts and assumptions inside your minds. If you had the chance to have a last word with them, it would be Goodbye anyways.
Yes, sometimes it feels good to have the last word, but sometimes there truly are people who don't deserve another fucking word or second of our sweet time. Save those for the ones who truly deserve your precious moments. We can't force people that don't want to be in our lives to stay. We can't control when people die. We can only embrace love and life itself. The ghosts will always haunt you if you give them the power to. Last words would provide us with confirmations, but life itself isn't a novel with seamless plots and endings and new beginnings. It might feel summarized and planned out, but it is not in our power to validate every affinity's end with words. Although it sure would feel so damn great wouldn't it?
Written By Epiphany Tiffany