Posts

Goodbye, Forever

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The last time we said goodbye, Wasn’t that long ago. You had to go battle demons. Leaving me no other choice. But to let go.  You hugged me, Held me tight, Till we both cried. So yes,  It’s hard for me to be here today. In a fancy black dress.  I came anyway. I wouldn’t miss this. Not for anything else. Even if it took, Every ounce of strength I had left On my metaphorical shelf. I watched you lose it all. I even lost myself. I lost you then, But it’s so much fucking harder  Losing you now. I kissed your forehead. You don’t look like yourself.  But I know that you’re here. Your presence was felt.  So, I’ll choose to forgive. And carry this love, Deep in my chest. The burdens I’ll bury At the grave, Where yer mama laid you to rest. The ache only hurts, Cause I’ll never hear your laugh In person again. I’ll never get the “I’m sorry” I still thought one day I might’ve.  Our love. I’ll never forget. Your timidness.  Mixed with that badass graceful wit...
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Vanished

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Vanished. Like we never happened. As if once upon a time,  You were never, A  part of  my existence. How can I stay whole,  With such a haunting persistence.   Cause we were solid, Till you ghosted, For my birthday present. Such a brutal gift, I forgot to thank you for it.  Then rose from the dead, As if that shit never happened. Then went silent again. Right after that wound, Barely reopened. Still. Between the hurt,  and laughtergasms,  I fell into your witty sarcasm.  I lingered on the edge,  Of your rocky  yet stable mountain. I cared so deep.   Unwaveringly, devoted. That storm inside me softened. Till you reflected, Chards of darkness. And shattered my soul  Once I realized, You were made to vanish. I still fed you  countless chances. Your heart remained, Fucking barricaded. Locked away.  As if I was breaking and entering,  Just trying to get to it.  And that wandering soul, Afraid of commitm...
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So Brutally True

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Sitting here, Thinking about you, I hate that I do. The beauty was real, Hell, the hell was too. How do I forget a love  So brutally true, So black and blue So living out our dreams,  And the fucking hell it put me through. You tore me open, Just to see what’s inside. Naming it love,  Til I slowly died. Building forever, On broken lies. Claimed I, Ruined your life, When I was just trying  To fucking survive. I guess I thought,  The pain was proof that it’s real. But all I feel now, Is a wound that won’t seal. Every song, every street,  Every somebody new, Still bleeds your name, Still reminds me of you. In the back of my mind,  In the beat of my chest, You’re the curse I survived, But never fully laid it to rest. Still waking up. Reaching for your skin. Half-asleep,  Half-drunk on what’s been. Your laugh echoes, Through the cracks of my soul, Whispering lies, That once made me feel whole. But even in th...
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Dumpster Fire

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Ever wonder why bad things happen to good people? Or why good things fall into the laps of the shittiest?  Meanwhile, I’m out here, some kind of saint strolling down Murphy’s Law Lane, where anything and everything that can go wrong, does.  So yeah, you keep truckin’ through the rubbish, damn well knowing you’re just digging through dumpster fires, naming trash treasure. Hell, maybe life is just a mountain of crap sprinkled with tiny specks of glittery happiness.  Am I really out here digging through this dump called life just to find glittery shit? Yeah maybe. Because I get it. Sometimes  seeing the good in people is the only thing that keeps you digging. As if happiness is buried beneath some harrowing dungeon, guarded by nasty ass dragons, and in the back corner, there it is. Happiness looks like some six-footed, kind eyed sexy creature dripping with mystery. And you’re curious. Curious enough to walk through stank ass dragon fire breath just for seven glittery se...
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