Emotional Vampires

“I've come too far to watch some namedropping sleaze, tell me what are my words worth” 
- Taylor Swift 

 

Vampires exist.

Although, they may not sleep during the day and wake in the night just to wreak havoc, fuck and prey on human blood. They do prey. Feeding off of emotional intelligence, eloquent and compassionate human souls. I call them, Emotional Vampires: noun.  People who are entirely MISERABLE with themselves that they try to suck the happiness out of their prey. Which totally sucks because a lot of the time they succeed. No one wants to deal with bullshit. The average Joe wants peace. Not stress. Not chaos. Not fear. So, they win by default. They win with a response, a reaction, or God forbid, when they make their way into your head. Their only true intent is to cause emotional pain and suffering. Because the harsh reality is, they are in emotional turmoil their damn selves. So of course they want you to feel the same. Which is totally repellent to me, because no one can control my inner peace if I don’t allow it. That shits like citronella to mosquitos, and perhaps the key to true happiness. Maybe that's why we learn to love ourselves enough to be happy inside of our own head first. Because true happiness is never in the eye of the beholder. It's one hundred percent within. Sure, it would be totally conspicuous if life were as real as a highlight reel. But that shits fake. True happiness steers our mental wheel away from all those fake bloodsucking energy vamps. It tells Satan and its spawns to FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF. 

Because a strong God-fearing woman isn't afraid of shit. She knows there is darkness in the world because she’s sat in it. Life ain’t Disneyland. Sure, if it weren’t for the wicked witches of the west, vampires or those pathetic bad-tempered dogs I call narcissists, we wouldn’t be able to differentiate right and wrong. Like, if it weren’t for the hood, we wouldn’t have the holy. God there’s not a damn thing wrong with being a little bit of both, but evil isn’t fucking cool. We’ve got to do better! Sadly, we learn kindness through the wicked. We face a choice when we decide whether to let their actions make us bitter or better. I will always rise above. I wasn’t made to succumb into darkness. Hell, we all weren’t. If we have any conscious at all, or just love fucking sleeping at night, we’ve got to excel. What’s so wrong with healing from our biggest hurts? What’s wrong with unlearning those damaging cycles of toxic patterns? We didn’t ask for the bullshit that happened to us. It’s not our fault trauma hit the fucking bulls eye. However, it is our fault when we keep throwing darts at the same board, aiming at the same shit. We deserve better than that! But unresolved madness breeds like mold on fruit. Why eat that shit when we can have better? We shouldn’t be so afraid to fucking evolve.

I’ll never understand why we continue living with old agonies. The past doesn’t dictate our future. It may affect it, but it doesn’t have to guide every single footstep forward. I myself have had very humbling moments that I had to humiliatingly face. It isn’t pretty to face reality. Especially when it’s something we don’t want, or believe in. But that’s just life, we can’t control it. The only thing we can control is our actions and our reactions. Our fucking mindset. How we treat others. Like be a go getter or fearless leader for the fucking good. Let go of the rotten goods like resentment and fear. For fucks sake, let go of all that bitterness that everyone smells on you like cheap old lady perfume. The best thing I ever did for myself was let go. Let go of that disastrous need to control. Let go of the pain I carried with me from every single heart break my golden heart endured. Let go of past traumas that I held on to for dear fucking life, because I was so afraid to make the same fucking mistakes. Let go of the fear of the unknown. Let go of the fear of being alone. Hell, we all die alone. Once you sit with that and make the uncomfortable, comfortable, fear fades. Once you learn to let go, life begins to take you where it’s supposed to. Nothing holds you back. I think holding on is what truly stops us from being who we are fully capable of becoming. We hide behind this stigma that we are so powerful because we have control. Darlings we ain’t shit unless we are in the air traffic control tower, green lighting fucking jets. Cause the actual power inside control is the fact that we actually have no control at all. Control, controls us and fear is steering the damn wheel. Making little man pretend he's tall and mighty just to push tall man down. That shit goes all the way back to Elementary School. These grown ass vamps are playing games as if they are still on the playground. Grow the fuck up. Sad thing is there are so many full-grown humans that act like ugly babies. Throwing tantrums and shit, all because they haven't healed or grown from their adolescence. Imagine how many people would be at the park if mentality were an age. The lines at the swings would be infinite. That’s why I call emotional energy drainers vampires. They will never grow up, and will forever be immortal tweens regardless of the number of their age, or grey hairs for that matter. Just fully incapable of maturity. Until they learn to let go and actually heal themselves, they will keep preying on the strong minded. Because sadly, that’s what they want so badly themselves. They are just to coward and afraid to do the work it takes to be fucking vulnerable. So, they steal our shiny happiness, and breed moldy darkness because that’s all they know how to do. Learn to be fucking better.

Funny thing is, I have no control over their vicious attacks, but I’m not throwing a fit. However, I do have control over how I act. So, I start there. By being who the fuck I want everyone else to be. Kind. Loving. Caring. Empathetic. Positive. And just fucking Happy. I deserve that. I know my worth. My integrity. My faith and hope for goodness in others. Obviously, life isn’t all butterflies and fucking rainbows. I’ve swam marathons in the lows. But I don’t go and drown others when I am submerging. That’s the difference. I can see the illuminated flaws that narcissists mask behind so called beauty. And it’s fucking pathetic. I honestly feel sorry for people who make the choice to live like that. Like why lurk in hurt? Cause holding on to hurt, keeps us hurt. And hurt people hurt people. That’s just how it goes. I’m more like, I may be healed, but if it ain’t my problem to fix, like dinner, I ain’t fixin’ shit. I just pray like a normal person. Because who truly wants to be an emotional blood sucker fowling PREY? When we can actually PRAY? Like pray for peace and compassion. Or God damnit, if you can’t ya damn self, pray to be a decent fucking human. Stop preying on people who don’t give a fuck whether or not you exist. I am so sad for humanity these days. I am so burnt out on all that hate and anger. And mean hearted people that taunt, haunt and cause harm to the kind, loving and never judging. Not even judging vampires if they were fucking here sitting at a bar sippin on some dude name Franks blood on draft at the local bar for $7.99. Or those overly self-righteous fucks that never recognize their own flaws but will critique everyone else’s. Fuck all the way off. I wish more people would take a look at the mirror inside themselves. What would reflect? Because I guarantee emotional draining blood sucking narcissists have no soul. Nor true reflection. Just dead on the inside stalking to destroy anyone on their path of destruction. Funny thing is, if you’re any kind of immortal, you’re probably passing through walls and empty picture less halls longing for life. But that’s just it, Professor Jon Kabat Zinn said it best. “As long as you are breathing, there is more right with you, than wrong with you, no matter what’s wrong.” Life wasn’t filled with so much love, beauty and faith, to go out with fangs. 

Written by Epiphany Tiffany.