After You

I wiped tears 

pulling out of the driveway.
Our love became the boarded-up house,
I looked in the review mirror at
When I drove away.
I really didn't want to leave 

But I did anyway. 

Loving you became a cliche.
Another casualty 

From the wreck on lifes byway.
A fucked up fairy tale.

Beginning beautifully,

Ending sadly.

He waited patiently to make way.
I was abruptly stranded,

So of course there was room for a little leeway.
He felt like a calm seaway.
After your fatal storm,
His breeze felt like
No traffic on the 91 freeway.

The first time I cried.
By the second and third
I didn't miss 

the lover that used to be mine.
Still coming on time.
It’s a lot of fun.
Because its force isn’t as strong.

Sadly, I’m feeling pretty numb.

And I can’t fathom belonging 

to anyone.

I'm floating in the grey.
All of my happy in love moments
Cascaded away.
But I'm not sad anymore.
I'm actually doing pretty okay.

Being on the out skirts of you,
Has made the sunshine through
My darkest days.
I never thought that,
I'd ever be able to say.
But I never envisioned us,
Not celebrating your upcoming birthday.

Still, loving you at your worst
Meant sacrificing myself.
You took my happiness
And turned it inside out.
It was never my plan,
To dance with you in hell.

I still moved in with you.
I battled daily hours of traffic
For the sake of our love.
What did you ever sacrifice for us?
When push came to shove,
You weren’t ever going to choose me, 

Over your drugs.
I should’ve never believed 

I could’ve been enough.

I guess I thought you loved me 

just as much.

Silly me for thinking 

we’d somehow overcome.

I got dragged through 

your venomous cyclones.

That’s what happens 

when addicts love someone.

They’ll destroy everything,

Until there’s no one. 

So, I got lucky when 

someone picked me up.
But he knew I was strong.
I didn’t need to be saved.
I was wounded,
Not broken.
He still carried me away.

Sandy hair.

His eyes,

Beautifully blue. 

Shores so calm,

He felt so brand fucking new.

A smitten surfer,

Made me feel wanted.

After feeling so manipulated and used. 

And blatantly abandoned.
My heart got frozen.
After you, 

Was something 

I never fucking wanted.
But I won’t become
Ice cold fingers
Chilling every touch.
Just cause YOU

took ME for granted.
Even if you made me numb.
And forced out all of your loved ones.

I did all I could to try to save us. 

I guess I’d be better,
Had my heart not

been beaten and bruised.
If I was a viscous lover,

I’d say, FUCK YOU.

But you were really lucky 

To have a woman 

So faithfully true.

Now your loss, 

Creates precious gains.

And she gets the fucked up version of you.

I’ll always take the high road.

Even if that means relinquishing you.

But I’ll continue sadly

smiling my way through.

All the things, after you. 

Written by Epiphany Tiffany