Is It a Blessing Or a Lesson?

Why do we feel the need to decode our feelings, relationships, friendships and dating, and label them as a lesson or a blessing? And these connections we try so hard to understand in full aspect.  Why do people always say in the end that if it’s not a blessing, then it’s a lesson? I just don’t get it. But I’ll try too.  I feel the need to bring this up, because I already mentioned how I truly believe that all things do happen for a reason, and usually, yeah things that happen could potentially be a blessing or a lesson, but what if its neither? And you still don't know exactly what it is? Could that be why you are unable to move forward, and is the only reason we are able to accept things and move on, because we actually learned something from them? So obviously, if we haven't moved on is it because it truly is a blessing? I can relate to that. 

So how do you know exactly if it was a lesson? Just because you learned that you two aren't meant to be? Or that you learned who they truly are, or you learned the truth that gave you everything you needed to finally call it quits? YOU LEARNED TO MOVE ON? BUT HOW? Who’s to say the actual lesson is even that person that affected your life, maybe the lesson you learned came from within, but it took that to happen to you to even open your eyes to it? Then call it a lesson? Plus, who’s to say that a lesson is a blessing anyways because if it never happened would it still have any meaning in your life at all? So there we go contradicting ourselves once again all to try to figure out the reason behind someone else’s actions towards us? Why they hurt us, or why someone means so much to us? Why can’t we all accept things for exactly what they are instead of trying to figure out the reasoning to it?

I think it is a total blessing to have someone come into your life and change everything you ever thought about them, or even for someone to hurt you, because it made you feel, and happy or sad, that's the realness of life itself. Even if you learned something from it or haven't, life is all about living. Not about WHY.  Ask yourself this: Why am I here? I mean it’s totally irrelevant right? Because we weren't asked to be born, we didn't get to choose who to be, we make the best of it and do our best to get by with the life we are given right? So Why question it?

A huge problem we all face is that question WHY. Especially when it comes to people, why did she do that, or why did he make me feel so mad, we all want to know why someone is in our life, why they don't go or why they do. All our life we have been taught "lessons" in grade school, in middle school and in high school, we are always learning the "how’s" and "whys" to everything in school and work, so when it comes time for relationships and real life matters, we assume that there is some sort of how to guide to it. Maybe that's why social media is so important to us, showing everyone how their relationships are, so we assume that's how ours should be. Or even TV and movies, we automatically assume that we all should have this image of a certain type of relationship because that's exactly what society tells us, but are all those things actually teaching us how to deal with our own life experiences such as a relationship? NOPE.

So that's why it is totally natural for us humans to wonder WHY someone made us feel a certain way, or why they came into our life and didn't stay long, even if we wanted them too. Why some tell us lies, and why we think they are something special inside our hearts, but they don't fit in that image of what society says should. So we find ourselves lost in our own damn life, when everyone around us seems so perfectly put together, happily as ever in their happy relationships, as we're sitting here wondering why. Was it a lesson, was it a blessing? What was the reason as to why they made me feel sad? Is not something you can even ask ANYONE. It's something you have to ask YOURSELF. Only you know the answer inside of you. 

For example, look at all of your past relationships, at the time, it meant something to you or you would have never even been in that moment with that person at all right? Ask yourself why you felt the way you did for them? Maybe they made you happy? sad? mad? crazy? So they made you feel alive right? Because isn’t life all about living in the moment? And moments come and moments go, and some people stay in the moments of life with you longer than others, so you can’t rule out and totally omit a person that was in your life just because it was a lesson now right? Because even if you did learn something from them, you were still happy, and sad, and angry, or scared, living so many of lifes true meanings in a moments time with someone you did actually have feelings for at that moment in time. And living, no matter what, why or how it should be, or what lesson you learned from it, are moments in your life that you can’t ever change, get back or erase.

So just be happy for the moment you’re experiencing life each and every day with someone, because when you look back, you are going to realize that time spent with them is only a memory.  And memories are the only things we have left of someone once they’re gone. A lesson is something that makes us richer in our minds, but a blessing comes straight from the heart. All lessons learned can actually be a blessing if you accept that life is about living, not learning, not questioning, not forgetting, not trying to make sense of it, just feeling the emotions, and remembering them. Because life is made out of moments, not lessons, and if you try to fabricate your lifes moments by dismissing them as lessons learned, you are always going to be expecting people to be a specific way in your life, and you will forget to just sink in and enjoy the moments. 

So whether or not it’s a lesson or a blessing, consider it a moment shared with someone you care for, even if they stay a while or only a short moment in time. You can never take time back as much as you want too, so spend time with people that matter because why waste precious moments of your life with those who don’t?  Yeah, we didn’t choose our life that’s true, our family, our moms or our dads, and yes we make the best of the life we were given, so if we have the choice to choose who we spend the rest of our lives with, why choose something we don’t want just because society approves of it? Choose someone that will make your heart feel so strong that you can’t EVER imagine them in your life as only a memory, something you cannot let go of because it has significant meaning in your heart and life, that can only mean that the way you feel so strong, even if it hurts is a blessing because you love. And to love is a blessing, it's a curse also, but even if its not reciprocated, to love someone without flaw, without pride, without omitting them because they may not love you back is rare, and knowing that inside yourself is all that matters, because being real and true to your heart can never be a lesson, its a blessing that comes from within.