Fairytale in Hell

How did I get here.
I’m not doing well.
But he captivates my heart,
As if it’s glued to the floor.
I can't move.
I can’t find the door.

I can’t break through.

How could I?
When I carried my grief,
Into somebody new.
I wish I could run,
To heaven to you.

It’s fucked up.
I’m stuck in the mud,
That’s now buried you.
I’m still trying to breathe,
I’m still living for you.

Til he pulls me close.
And I forget for a few.
Til he disappears,
And I pretend I don’t feel it,
But I fucking do.

I know it hurts.
I know it’s not right.
That I still cry for you.
In the dead of the night.

But maybe this time,
He will stay.
Maybe this time,

He will love me fully,
Not halfheartedly.

Cause if I found love again,
I'd jump,
The second he tells me when.
I’ll swing open the door,
Knowing all too well
I’ve been here before.

In that same beautiful chaos.
In that same familiar flame.
In a different night's sky,
That still feels the same.

Living a story,
I thought I outgrew.
A beautiful time,
That still feels like you.

Cause I didn’t just fall in love,
After drowning in your raging swells.
I finally see what you refused to tell.
Love isn’t fragile,
It’s just what it does when it breaks you.

But I’m still here,
calling it healing,
calling it him,
calling it anything but what it is.

A fairytale in hell.
I'll keep choosing,
To relive.
Because it’s the only place,
That my heart recognizes.


Written by Epiphany Tiffany.