Don’t Hate Me

-
I was ready 
to give myself to you.
Took the steps 
To falling in love with you too.
I envisioned 
the same damn things as you.
So please don’t think 
That my love for you 
was never really true.

I pictured everything 
we said we’d do.
I pictured an entire lifetime 
with you.
I loved the way 
my family loved you.
And how you loved me 
more than anyone ever loved me too.

I wanted to protect you. 
And be a better person 
just for you.
You’re an amazing person 
to your core.
I said it cause it’s true.
I was so lucky
Just to be with you. 

But I hate 
what fucking happened to you.
Said I’d be there
I even meant that shit too.
It wasn’t my fault 
What that jerk did to you.
After that shit,
You probably would’ve left me too. 

I didn’t think 
giving us a shot.
Would lead to 
ex lovers taunting us. 
Or that they’d 
destroy every one of our 
solid paved footsteps. 
Aiming for us.
Bullet holes shattered
the windows we opened
Then slammed that love shut.

Cause pistols don’t make 
soundful sounds. 
They scattered reality 
and buried it deep 
into the cold hard ground. 
Killing a rare love 
We thought we had both finally found. 

That now haunts me to see 
you’re still fabricating frowns. 
Isolating that beautiful heart 
Into solitary compounds. 
That kind of love 
Doesn’t need 
mindless rebounds.
I for sure thought 
you’d be married again by now.  

I hope you know
I never meant to crash your castle down.
Or be the reason you sip whiskey with other dickheads at the bars downtown.

I meant it when I said 
you deserve the best. 
You have the purest fucking heart 
I’ve ever met.
I wish you could see 
what your love for me 
Actually did. 

So please don’t hate me 
for things 
you can probably predict.
I tried to be there 
but reality fucking hit me 
Then actuality crept right in. 

That trauma 
Also struck me.
I had no choice 
But to stay or leave.
I didn’t think deep down 
you’d actually miss me.
I did what I had to do. 
I ran for the hills.
I chose my family. 

So please don’t hate me.


Written by Epiphany Tiffany

Popular posts from this blog

Let Them.

-
"Who fucked up and made you single" -Some Dude I'll never understand why people do what they do. That’s why I fucking let them. Yeah, the let them concept can sink pretty deep when their choices don't align with our desires. But I like to think of rejection as Gods protection. Even if they reject you in the worst possible way. Let them. Even if it breaks your heart. Let them. Obviously, there are limitations. We still got to be kind humans. Don’t let anyone put you in a place where you are risking your moral compass values 0r fucking safety just to let them. It’s mainly the concept of freeing yourself from their burdens that makes this so powerful. Allowing yourself to not worry what they choose, because honey, if it isn’t you, why would you fight for someone who isn’t fighting for you? Let them choose what they choose. Let them do what they do. If you can at least understand that you’ll see how powerful letting them and letting God truly can be.  Of course, I underst...
Read more

Veteran of Heartache

-
Is it maturity, or five heartbreaks that make us braver for the next? Are we numb? Are we just jaded? Or are we really that much wiser due to all of our tragical ending experiences. Can we really smell bullshit from a mile away? Or is it self-fulfilling prophecies that keep us reliving the same cliches? Is our prior experience in love failures causing us to steer clear from love altogether, because we are afraid to lose again? Or are we truly that good at detecting future failures. I know I have truly learned a lot from my priors. But what if the common denominator is always THEIR insecurities…not mine.. Am I at failures fault for being secure with myself? For loving purely? For being a damn good woman? Not one bit. But I will say, my reactions when the mask comes off aren’t always charismatically chipper. When Prince Charming himself suddenly becomes the wicked dragon how else would any princess react?   The issue here is, we are all good women. We don’t want to believe the man th...
Read more

Disenchanted.

-
Zero to one hundred. Rockets my emotions. Feeling somewhat, Disconnected. Making me, Teleport confusion. Even though, He don't give me a reason. How could he, He’s pretty damn fuckin amazing. Maybe it's the residue, Loving you,  Left me with. But I won't let it make me, Disenchanted. Cause it was you, Who called me crazy, For simply reactin. I won’t be triggered by fears, You fuckin created. I let that shit go, When we fuckin ended. When life kept on flying. With or without, My ride or dyin' I never stopped. I kept on going. Where I am now, People tell me, I'm glowing. You burdened my gains. As if trust and faith, Were perfectly fine to  fluctuate. Love doesn't play games, Or make moves like checkmate. Love shouldn't make, A heart deflate. It should, Uplift and hydrate. So I won't let feeling , A new thing, Make me scared straight. Maybe loving the crooks, Underlined all my mistakes. Even if my hearts,  All gas and no breaks. I'll never be jaded. I...
Read more