Carry me

-
Maybe this is what it takes.
To realize. 
How far I can go without anyone having to carry me through my hard times. 

Maybe this is what happens when you’re left heartbroken and alone.
But words are empty without meaning,
That’s what I should’ve known. 

Maybe I fell pretty hard on the ground.
As my tears fell just as hard as me.
But I prayed and prayed until I finally had the strength inside myself to finally carry me. 

Although time stood still. 
Cause I needed to heal.
From everything that happened to me.
But those meaningless thrills 
Lead me straight for the hills.
To where I can finally see that you’re fucking happy.

And it killed me to see.
You’ve got everything we ever wanted.
Less than a mile away.
Funny how life turns out.
How things I thought I wanted,
Were not made for me. 

Maybe those were your dreams.
And I just dreamt them too.
Probably because I truly loved and only wanted you.
And as bad as it hurts sitting with the truth.
Maybe I’m finally fucking happy for you.

But that means that I can let go of the hope that you aren’t.
Or the what if he's living miserablys.
No hope is the rock bottom I needed to finally set myself free. 

To fucking allow a good man to finally love me.
And let myself have what I deserve and stop 
my heart from living so damn independently. 
Maybe it’s fucking time for me.
To stop carrying this heartbreak that keeps breaking me.
 
To show someone worthy of every piece of me.
No more lies and games, just simplicity.
Because if anything what this heartbreak has really taught me,
Is that I’m fully capable of loving me.

And if that’s the case,
I really need to start to fucking believe.
That there is somebody just as amazing waiting for a woman just like me. 
And he’ll make me want to send gift baskets to my exes lovers,
To personally thank them for freeing me. 



Written by: Epiphany Tiffany

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