Memories- Poem.

I'm totally over it.

But I wasn't today.

Maybe something inside,

made me feel this way.

I thought I was happy, 

maybe I'm not.

How did I get here? 

I thought I forgot.

Thanks to my conscious,

I can never forget.

All that it takes,

is something simple

to make our memories,

begin again.

Maybe it's wanting to feel something real.

Taking me back,

to the way you made me feel.

Or maybe seeing you, 

brought on these retakes.

I don't know what it is about you thats making me feel this way. 

Cause the flashes start to replay, inside of my head.

I can't even think of one moment of sadness during the times that we spent.

Bringing more tears,

As I try to switch off my thoughts.

I can't even turn them off,

by taking a shot.

But the gin helps the pain

start to go away.

Although the memories of you linger inside of my brain.

Instead of fighting them off,

I let them take me back.

With tears in my eyes, 

I still smile and laugh.

Gosh I can go on and on.

Remember when I sent you that video of me,

singing you my favorite song?

Only cause you did it first.

Singing “Lovesong” to me,

by The Cure. 

Remember Super bowl? 

That's when I thought that we made the right call.

But footballs back and so much has changed.

These other dudes,

don't understand me the same way.

I really thought time would heal.

But it’s hard when you throw away something that's really real.

Maybe I am totally wrong.

But I can't turn my heart off.

Because if I could I probably would.

Thinking if love was like life,

 how we live or die.

I would’ve been pronounced dead,

the moment we said goodbye.

Cause part of me has,

I'm trying to find it back.

Maybe all of this shit happened,

Just to feel something again.

Because I want someone 

to tell me goodnight.

And to give it to me,

for the rest of my life.

I want the feelings you brought out of me.

The hot intimate showers together. The conversations so deep.

Cuddling close,

and kisses in the dark.

The run straight to you when something happens, 

Because I always wanted,

to tell you first.
Memories can easily be replaced.
So tonight I'll sit back,

And let them be replayed.

Remember when,

you met my friends on Halloween?

You were the life of the party.

I was dressed as a cheerleader, 

but felt like your Queen.

The horses, vodka cranberries,

The Ranch, and February.

All of this replays,

inside of my memory.

Like the excitement I felt to meet your mother.

How I held your hand as you drove me to her.

Buying her flowers.

That have now died.

Just know those memories will always be there inside of my mind.

Maybe you kept my sweater to remind yourself,

Of all the days I loved you more than anyone else.

Or maybe you keep all the things I got for you,

To always remember me no matter what you do. 

So don't hate me for what you chose to do.

I'm only human.

I can't help the way that I used to feel about you.

Like when you whispered you loved me quietly into my ear. 

Why did you go if that's the only thing I ever wanted to hear?

I guess that's why I'll never really understand.

So there's not a day I don't ask myself what would've happened if you actually did. 
But you always said how people change,

I guess I never imagined you to be the one to leave me that way.

I guess you can plan for forever with someone you love,

But no matter how hard you try, somethings will ever be enough.

Especially because what we had died, 

Only leaving behind the memories inside of my mind,

So I can't help but to have a damn good cry,

When I remember something that changed my entire life.

Because when something you truly love dies,

The only thing left is remembering it to keep it alive. 

So even if these memories relive forever inside of my mind,

At least I know that I'm going to be alright.

I guess part of you will forever be on my mind,

Because that's what happens when you get left behind.

So it's not my fault for accepting what's not,

It was only you that chose to erase me from your very own thoughts.

So when the memories take me back in these crazy ass ways,

To the past, the present and in-between days,

I'll always choose to remember you happy, 

And try not to let the tears roll down my beautiful face.

Written by: Tiffany Bales