The Perfect Match

I wouldn’t completely rule out that there is no such thing as a perfect match for ones soul. You know, the one, your person. Of course, I believe in love. But I also believe that there can be multiple people that we have connections with. So Am I totally contradicting myself here? I mean don’t get me wrong, I want to believe that we all have a soulmate out there, one soul that’s just like our own. But out of seven billion people in this world, who am I to even think for one bit that there is only ONE PERFECT MATCH for everyone. I mean haven’t you played the memory card game. There are always multiple matches on the table. So why should we limit our hearts, bodies and souls to just one love because we truly believe that person is our perfect match. Besides how do we know for sure we even met our perfect match anyway? Come on girls, I know you read “Princess and the Frog” she had to kiss tons of frogs before she found her prince. Not anywhere in the book did it state that she had no connections with all of the frogs. I bet she did. But the prince was her match, and it wasn’t her choice, all she did was kiss him. Shit she could’ve loved all of those frogs for all we know right? But it was fate who brought her her prince, because she patiently waited. Right?

I swear I hear these things all the time. “I think I met the one.” “I might have found my person.”  Come on ladies, how do we logistically know that we have found our soulmate?  Is it because you two have so much in common? Or is it because society tells you that he is? Or does he check off every single box on your perfect match list? Besides, do our desires of finding our soulmate avert us to believe that the person we met actually is? Because we are in such a hurry to settle down, that we totally avoid all of the red flags as to why HE IS NOT. Or is it because we are so focused on how he is our perfect match based off of our own selfish wants?  I'm going to get real honest here. THINK is the sign you drove right past with that one. And that’s why you are now lost.

So what is this list of what we want our perfect match to be like anyway? And why do we cross those things off when we meet someone, and if they don't check off every box, we move on to the next in line? Like love is some type of interview process. Imagine how you would feel if you were the victim of that? But I already know that we have all fallen perp and victim to it.  And I totally get it, because I have totally stereotyped a man because I thought he was everything that I wanted based off of my perfect list. But that was the issue. I THOUGHT and I WANTED. But he wasn't. I believe that we all think and want way too much. We think about who can complement us nicely. Who can look better standing next to us. Who has the better job, bigger boobs, or ladies I'm just going to say it. Bigger dick. It’s all about who can bring more to the plate. We assume that based off of these things that we have, ding ding ding... FOUND OUR PERFECT MATCH.

Ladies, we all have this image inside of our minds and hearts that there is that perfect match out there for us. So we wait and wait and hope that someday fate will bring us together right? WRONG! Because you and I both know that’s not happening. Which blows my damn mind here. We watched every single Disney movie right? And some women actually live life in a fantasy world thinking that kind of true love really does exist, yet you obviously didn’t listen to the message those movies portrayed. TO WAIT FOR YOUR PRINCE. Because let’s face it. You aren’t waiting.  Actually, you are doing the complete opposite. We have all been guilty of it. Fate should be the key word here. But we are all trying to force it. And we CANNOT. I think that is the biggest reason why people are not happy in their relationships, or aren't in them to begin with. So let me elaborate.

Does the word aggressive ring a bell. Because let me tell you, some guys are super aggressive, sliding into my DMS like "hey beautiful" or "Will you be my sugar mama" Annoying right? And I swear if I get one more dick pic I’m going to swear off men entirely. But girls do it too. We are so desperate to find LOVE that we go online looking for it. Or we are at the grocery store in full make up waiting for Mr. Perfect. Shit if I were looking for a man, I’d at least be going to Home Depot, to get one that can actually fix something. For real though, why are we so focused on trying to dictate fate? Is it because we are scared to be alone? Is it because we think we are going to miss out on having kids, or is it because everyone else is doing it? This is why we are not finding the person we are supposed to be with. Or why we aren’t happy with the one we are with. Because he isn’t the one. And you aren’t going to find him by sliding into his DMs or at the damn grocery store waiting for him. Get the damn milk and let fate decide what happens next. We need to stop dictating fate. So why are we doing it?  

All our lives, in school, everyone follows what everyone else does.  So when all of our friends are getting married, and we aren't, it kinda sucks.  But instead of being genuinely happy for our friends and just enjoy our own lifes timing. What happens? We try to dictate fate. Forcing ourselves to find someone to marry, just because we think we deserve exactly what our friends have. Which honey, you do, we all do. But when you dictate fate, you are selling yourself short. And you truly are missing what fate has arranged, because you controlled your own. The minute you think you are sad and alone, fate is already stirring something up for you behind the scenes. Yet you were so impatient that fate laughs and says “okay, go ahead since you think your plans are better than mine,” but little did you know that you just missed out on your perfect match because YOU DICTATED FATE. And you only set yourself back as many years as you controlled it. So honey, if you were in that relationship for twelve years, Fate might make you wait just as long just to show you to stop trying to control it. I'm not saying it will, but it is a possibility to consider. Because the funny thing about it is, the same person that fate had for you behind the scenes, was waiting for you too. But because of you dictating your own fate, you went ahead and messed with theirs also. And the people that were in their life as well. So realistically speaking. Your compulsiveness actually messed with a lot of other peoples’ fate. Damn.

So why do we feel the need to CONTROL OUR DESTINY?

Like using these dating apps for example. We are searching for something that life already has planned out for us. What happened to patience, and calmness? What happened to waiting for someone to impress us? What happened to natural and real? Are we all just in a pond of dictated fate? But why should a dating app limit our sea of prince and princesses to begin with? Trust, sometimes fate brings two people online and they meet and fall head over heels in love. I truly believe there are cases that fate intervened in your own plan, and brought you both to the same place and time online.

But I'm talking about the vast majority of these falsified profiles, and self-centered fate controllers. Yes, everyone has their own type of persona that attracts them. I mean is it because we are so damn picky that we feel doomed because no matter where we go we aren’t seeing anything that catches our eye so we look online? But why are we so focused on trying to find something anyways? Do you not trust fate?

I believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So I'm not saying we shouldn't have our own taste, or taste buds. That's what makes us unique. But we shouldn’t ever sell our selves short to the first hottie that crosses our path just because yes, you did meet naturally, because there's a lot more to a person than just looks. Like yeah I know you’re cute, but do you love the galaxy? The planet? Are you kind, compassionate, and caring? Do you love people? Can you make me laugh? Do you like sports? Can you catch my drift here? So why are we so focused on swipe left or right anyways. Makes no sense to me. Actually, that’s overwhelming and I would in a million years rather meet someone naturally than forcing myself into someone’s DMs. What happened to class? That’s a BIG reason why the respect piece in these relationships are missing. We just need to be patient, and kiss a ton of frogs before our prince presents himself. Because, haven’t you ever heard of that saying. “When you know, you know” Trust it. It’s so true.

Trust. I am a firm believer that there are people that are meant to be together. Don't get me wrong. I truly believe that's why people do meet NATURALLY. And although it may be a matter of attraction that sparks the initial conversation, usually it takes longer to determine legitimate feelings. But I truly believe that when you meet someone naturally, you can’t just assume that they are the one just because you want them to be. That’s the difference. Yes, people come into our lives for a reason, but we may not know why. And we sure as hell should not force someone to be in it. Just because they match every desire on our perfection list, doesn’t always mean that they are perfect for us.

Because our perfect match could be sitting next to us on the train ride to work. They could be admiring us from afar and us not even know it yet. They could be someone we already met, but timing just isn't perfected yet. Give fate a chance. We need to trust that just because things aren't happening right now, doesn't mean it’s going to be forever. Just because our friends are getting married, and have found THE ONE, doesn't make it a race. Everyone’s lives are different. AND PLEASE stop trying to change yourself for these dudes that are superficial. There's an expression for them for a reason. If a man truly likes you, it’s much deeper than that, looks fade, personalities are forever. If we are with someone because of stats, well that’s not love. That’s just a perfect perception of the complete opposite.

We need to stop changing what we believe just because we think we met THE ONE, because if anyone treats you as if you aren’t good enough, they aren’t THE ONE. What you need to do honey is RUN. I truly believe we all deserve to love and be loved. But looking for someone to love perfect or not, isn't the answer. Patience is.  

I heard a quote today that really affected my thought process on the true meaning of love and life itself.

"I am dying, and I just realized that I forgot to live."

WOW. Isn't that what we should all be doing? Trying to live. Not racing to find the perfect match just to fill our own needs and desires. But I think the issue here is a lot of us believe it or not, are totally scared to die alone. That’s the real honest truth. BUT WE DO. And love is not something to tamper with by dictating its fate. Trust in Gods plan. Love all people. Even the flawed. Because everyone deserves to be loved. Whether its intimate or not, love is love. Have a relationship with yourself first. Just live life, be happy on your own. Trust that fate will do its job. Be better than whatever jerk broke your heart. Let him go. Be thankful it didn’t work out, because that was fate telling you it wasn’t meant to be. Have goals and dreams! Be the best damn human you can be, and not for anyone other than for yourself. And trust me, your perfect match will be right in front of your eyes on a day you didn't even expect it, because you deserve much more than controlling your own destiny. Because lets face it, trying to control anything in love or in life only controls you. Set yourself free. Believe that fate has your back. Don’t be afraid to be alone. You are in a world, not a pond, full of people just like you. You are never truly alone. Always remember that.

Unless you truly want a perfect man to use just for mindless sex, and aren’t looking for love, go have fun. Be superficial and controlling, but know the difference.

But if you want love, let fate deter you away from these stereotypes and just believe that timing is everything. And one day, it will be you standing next to the love of your life. The one whose soul mirrors your own. The one you didn’t meet by your own control, but by fates gift of life to you. Your True Perfect Match.