Communication in A Relationship.
I feel the need to write about this topic, because it can be so vague. but really, communication, be vague? And how?
This generation is all about social media, being on our cell phones every second, even at work we use our own personal cell phones just to manage types of work related tasks, yet communication is still one of the BIGGEST relationship failures to this day and age.
I just don't understand it.
The funny thing is that more than half of these communication doomed relationships begin on a Communication device, hints all those dating apps!!! This is frustrating because "the simple class woman" in a relationship, whether shes dating or committed, only wants to be able to communicate her day to day life with the one she loves, so if communication simmers down into cold soup, she ends up seeing it as doomed, and moves on to someone who actually does want to communicate. Because lets face it, no one wants to be in a muted relationship, and there are so many people out there willing to communicate.
WHY CAN'T WE COMMUNICATE?
What is the issue with this? We are ALWAYS plugged in, connected, our notifications always turned on, We have NO PROBLEM communicating our daily lives TO EVERYONE ELSE who follows us on social media, but when it comes to our REAL RELATIONSHIPS we can't even pick up the phone to say "Hey we need to talk" and the sad thing is, in the "dating world" there are no closed ties, thanks to ghosting, one day you can be communicating greatly to someone, then all of a sudden you say the wrong damn thing, and get ghosted, basically meaning all communication ties are cut off and YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!!
So you are forced to find a reason with assumptions. And that is exactly how you end up creating GHOSTS, hints the term "Ghosted"
The sad thing is, it all falls down to improper communication, and if we people could stop worrying so much about saying the wrong thing, or hurting someone, and could actually communicate how we really feel, i'm sure more people would have a heck of a lot more respect and yeah, it could sting in the moment, but i'm sure one day they will appreciate the honestly, and actually learn something from it, verses being left trying to understand what the hell is wrong with themselves.
In a committed relationship, the beginning is the best part, you have a best friend you talk to all day and night, and you communicate all the time, until one day years later, the only thing you are actually communicating about is whose turn is it to do the dishes, and constantly fighting over the pettiest things until communication goes completely down the drain because you are tired of fighting, until you both end up hating each other. It's so sad, because I've seen this happen to so many relationships.
But I have seen couples unplug their devices, and spend time together off the phones, and actually enjoy real conversation together, snuggled up closely, so it leads me to this question.
Is the BIGGEST problem we actually have with communication our actual Communication devices?
I'm sure everyone has seen this, you go out to dinner with your family, or on a date and you witness the table next to you and every single person is on their cell phones, not talking or paying any attention to the actual people in front of their real faces, the only thing in their face is their communication device!! I don't get it, we are unable to unplug and spend real time with the REAL PEOPLE in our lives because everyone else is more important. This is a problem! We want to impress people that aren't even in our everyday lives more than the people that actually are, or work keeps you on your phone all day long, keeping you from your actual loved ones, that one day you are going to wake up and miss.
So yes, I totally believe that the biggest issue we have with communicating is because we are too busy for things that are not as important, like not living in reality for instance, or yes, there are other things that are far more important than REAL LIFE, but we have issues communicating our REAL feelings because its easier not too, and mainly because everything is so fabricated now days making it easier to assume that nothing is real, so when it comes time to communicate, well whats the point right? And meanwhile all these "improper communicators" are sitting communicating on their communication devices, not wanting to talk, but still wanna stalk, but they ghosted you right?!
They say communication is key, and I totally believe that is one of the most important things in a relationship. So no matter what I make it a habit to keep my phone in my purse and not look at it when i'm having real conversations, try it sometime, go on a weekend getaway with someone you don't mind communicating with, shut off your phones and see how amazing it is to live in the actual moment, you might feel a sense of realization come over you.
And, if you feel the need to tell someone something, no matter what, always speak how you feel, because we only live once, and stop worrying about saying the wrong thing and getting ghosted, because anyone that would do something immature like that doesn't deserve a place in your REAL life anyways.
This generation is all about social media, being on our cell phones every second, even at work we use our own personal cell phones just to manage types of work related tasks, yet communication is still one of the BIGGEST relationship failures to this day and age.
I just don't understand it.
The funny thing is that more than half of these communication doomed relationships begin on a Communication device, hints all those dating apps!!! This is frustrating because "the simple class woman" in a relationship, whether shes dating or committed, only wants to be able to communicate her day to day life with the one she loves, so if communication simmers down into cold soup, she ends up seeing it as doomed, and moves on to someone who actually does want to communicate. Because lets face it, no one wants to be in a muted relationship, and there are so many people out there willing to communicate.
WHY CAN'T WE COMMUNICATE?
What is the issue with this? We are ALWAYS plugged in, connected, our notifications always turned on, We have NO PROBLEM communicating our daily lives TO EVERYONE ELSE who follows us on social media, but when it comes to our REAL RELATIONSHIPS we can't even pick up the phone to say "Hey we need to talk" and the sad thing is, in the "dating world" there are no closed ties, thanks to ghosting, one day you can be communicating greatly to someone, then all of a sudden you say the wrong damn thing, and get ghosted, basically meaning all communication ties are cut off and YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!!
So you are forced to find a reason with assumptions. And that is exactly how you end up creating GHOSTS, hints the term "Ghosted"
The sad thing is, it all falls down to improper communication, and if we people could stop worrying so much about saying the wrong thing, or hurting someone, and could actually communicate how we really feel, i'm sure more people would have a heck of a lot more respect and yeah, it could sting in the moment, but i'm sure one day they will appreciate the honestly, and actually learn something from it, verses being left trying to understand what the hell is wrong with themselves.
In a committed relationship, the beginning is the best part, you have a best friend you talk to all day and night, and you communicate all the time, until one day years later, the only thing you are actually communicating about is whose turn is it to do the dishes, and constantly fighting over the pettiest things until communication goes completely down the drain because you are tired of fighting, until you both end up hating each other. It's so sad, because I've seen this happen to so many relationships.
But I have seen couples unplug their devices, and spend time together off the phones, and actually enjoy real conversation together, snuggled up closely, so it leads me to this question.
Is the BIGGEST problem we actually have with communication our actual Communication devices?
I'm sure everyone has seen this, you go out to dinner with your family, or on a date and you witness the table next to you and every single person is on their cell phones, not talking or paying any attention to the actual people in front of their real faces, the only thing in their face is their communication device!! I don't get it, we are unable to unplug and spend real time with the REAL PEOPLE in our lives because everyone else is more important. This is a problem! We want to impress people that aren't even in our everyday lives more than the people that actually are, or work keeps you on your phone all day long, keeping you from your actual loved ones, that one day you are going to wake up and miss.
So yes, I totally believe that the biggest issue we have with communicating is because we are too busy for things that are not as important, like not living in reality for instance, or yes, there are other things that are far more important than REAL LIFE, but we have issues communicating our REAL feelings because its easier not too, and mainly because everything is so fabricated now days making it easier to assume that nothing is real, so when it comes time to communicate, well whats the point right? And meanwhile all these "improper communicators" are sitting communicating on their communication devices, not wanting to talk, but still wanna stalk, but they ghosted you right?!
They say communication is key, and I totally believe that is one of the most important things in a relationship. So no matter what I make it a habit to keep my phone in my purse and not look at it when i'm having real conversations, try it sometime, go on a weekend getaway with someone you don't mind communicating with, shut off your phones and see how amazing it is to live in the actual moment, you might feel a sense of realization come over you.
And, if you feel the need to tell someone something, no matter what, always speak how you feel, because we only live once, and stop worrying about saying the wrong thing and getting ghosted, because anyone that would do something immature like that doesn't deserve a place in your REAL life anyways.