Epiphany Tiffany

“A dream is a wish that your heart makes” -Lily James The only dream I ever had was you. So when do I begin  to consider anything new, If all of my wishes  for a split second came true, But burnt out  right as time led me to you   I never had any intentions  behind my every move. The only thing  I ever wanted and lost was you. Thankful now  that time didn’t stop in its shoes. I learned so many things  not running after you.   Like forbidding vicious souls  that try to tell my heart what to do. I no longer believe in beautiful lies  that aren’t followed through. I’ve grown so many ways  you probably wouldn’t recognize me now  even if I was staring at you. I smile a lot more  and choose to do what’s right  even if it beats my heart black and blue.   But sometimes vulnerable thoughts  lead my mind to drift towards thoughts about you. Weakening my immunity, Until I’m plagued with a virus  that heavily ...

The world doesn’t stop just because it may feel as if yours has. When devastation seeps deep inside as if a dagger suddenly stabbed the life out of you. As that pain slowly seeps through your veins like blood but it’s cold. And the oxygen that kept that love alive is slowly deflating, while you are laying on the floor gasping for it to save you. But it won’t. And just like that another soul is crushed. Another heart is left hanging by a ounce of hope that still believes there is a chance. But you can’t live your life holding on to false hope. Because that hope only leads to disappointment when realization points you back to everything you ever wanted being ripped from underneath you. Tripping you down with the fire still burning. But you’re too far gone to even try to put that flame out. So you lay there and let what you thought would heal you, kill you. Because one of the hardest things to face is finding true love, yet having to let it go when you still feel every ounce of it beating...

Is it a something or a nothing?  Those doubtful thoughts that rush over us when we start seeing someone we actually like. But how are we even truly supposed to know whether it will or it won’t? Cause the truth is pretty plain and fucking simple. We don’t. Because putting ourselves out there is a gamble. But it’s also a heck of a lot more than that because it actually makes us brave. By being our true and authentic selves, we are actually able to weed out the people that don’t correlate to us. Which I’d say is a bonus. Not a loss. Because dating isn’t about winning or losing. Hell, dating isn’t even considered a game. It’s more like a bunch of little lessons that guide and build us towards the person that we want to choose. So why do people believe that dating is such an obstacle if the ultimate goal is to find someone that truly gets us? Because although it is hard putting ourselves out there, it’s even harder to trust someone these days. But thanks to all those jokers and ghosters...

“The devil doesn't come to you with a red face and horns, he comes to you disguised as everything you've ever wanted.” -unknown The number one excuse we make in love is telling ourselves that the heart wants what it wants. But I hear that all the time and have probably told myself the same thing a few dozen times as well. But what differentiates true versus temptation? Because a lot of the times, we think that whatever we are feeling is from our hearts, so it must be true. But ninety nine percent of the times, what we are feeling is merely temptation, not truth. Thanks to our rigid past traumas and family history of toxic tendencies from generation to generation. We think because it’s hard, that it has got to be true. When in reality, real love is quite the opposite. Which is baffling to me. So I guess I can truly say that in my lifetime of a whole thirty four years, I have never had real true love. Shocking isn’t it? But I think a lot of us can actually say the same thing. Are...

If he’s genuine that’s a start. But don’t let him quickly make his way into your heart. Play it safe without any flags thrown on the field. The less the penalties, The better chance to conform something real. Try to keep your feelings inside of your mind. Because they will become evident in the right time. That way our thoughts and how you feel, Stays in our head so your heart won’t fret if it’s not really real. Because it’s easy for butterflies to get trapped into webs, By being fooled by the path you want to believe is ahead. But the only thing you can do is pray, Hopefully that can guide your uncertainties the right way.  Because no one has shown her another way. They all talk the talk and look at her the same. Like she’s just here for a season. Not thinking deep down that she’s a deserving human. Who loves to love and cares a lot. But her heart isn’t unbreakable. It has actually been through a lot. But they never know from the grace that’s bestowed. That she holds on to her tru...

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." - Proverbs 4:23 Hungry for love. And you aim to please. But this wall I have up barricades my heart from feeling real things. So I ride along the surface because it keeps me at ease. Cause I don’t really know what's best for me. I’ve always rolled with the punches until I’m at peace. And well, you bring some sort of relief. But I know that I’ve got to dive back into the deep. To allow myself to be open for once. I can’t keep pretending that less for myself is far more than enough. I’ve got to put myself out there next time I meet someone. Verses letting my past control whether the path to my kingdom opens up. I know I’m confident enough to face rejection without fearing it. And my past will never dictate my future, It can’t keep me away from it. Its only taught me what I need to be right where I am. Although sometimes I pause just to catch my own breath. Cause I know when it’s the right time to be m...

I can sit and reminisce. Have a glass of wine and remember things you probably wish I’d forget. But the truth is I’m perfectly fine. Watching strangers and sipping my wine. Because I already know why you came in and out of my life. You fulfilled your purpose so I don’t ever think twice. It just hits when I see lovers kiss right in front of me. Making me think and hope that someday somebody I love would do that to me. Truly, I haven’t latched onto him yet. A lot of jokers but no King for this Queen to dazzle me yet. 'Cause I’m not rushing with the first fellow that tries to tie me down. I’m seeking real love, And that’s something my heart has neither lost nor found.  I’m a believer in Gods timing and plan. Why race down a bumpy road that leads me straight back to his solid paved path? Truth is, I’m happy right where I’m at. The grass isn’t greener. But it’s tranquil and freer. And I would’ve never relinquished the hell I was bearing on that matrimonial throne, Hadn’t you been there ...

"If I'm gonna fall down like a dumbass, I’m gonna pick myself up like a badass" -Jenni Rivera Ever feel like the needy child inside of you makes you feel so alone? But the badass inside of you reminds you that you’ve got you? Really that’s all we need. But there’s obviously a valid reason for the child inside to be tugging at our feet. Like looking for attention? Or maybe for our own inner truths? I always try to be real honest with myself, as it brings out clarity. Evading emotion is fatal to our beings. And the only thing left to do in a tugging moment is to speak the truth. If you can’t speak it, at least acknowledge it for yourself. As it’s the only real thing that can calm the tantruming child inside, by setting you free. But when your heart aches just to feel something more than what its already been through, I’d say that’s when it’s time to face the truth. And my truth is, as much of a badass I portray myself to be, the child inside of me isn’t a badass at all. She...

I’m not crying over you. I don’t wish I was riding shot gun  in your car sitting next to you. This bitterness only comes  when my path crosses you. I only wish I had a bottle of tequila  and lime  to go with the saltiness your presence endues.  But it's only noon. And seeing you actually helps me forget  the shit that my mind is currently going through. But then I see him  and he takes my mind off of you. It’s like a vicious circle  of a tad bit confused. Because I truly can’t stand  either of you. To tell you the truth,  enough tears have already been shed over you. That water well ran dry  the day I found out you said I do. And well,  he was the first obstacle within my view. I should’ve drowned in those tears  instead of letting him pursue. But that’s a whole other story  for me to come to terms to. Yet gladly,  I’m still not crying over you. I’m strong  because I know that I have no other choice but to b...

“Don’t tell me you were the one that got away when you were the one that left.” -Empath to Narcissist What is it about being drawn towards what isn’t good for us? Like hey, I’m beautiful, funny, kind and sweet with a heart made of gold, but I only gravitate towards assholes? Like the toxic and uncommittable, with a million different traits as to why I should run far far away from them. What’s with this unhealthy love triangle we keep trying to swing on anyway? Because solid swing sets aren’t shaped that way, they’re just safe. But I guess if you are looking for a love obstacle course of never ending hula-hoops to sweat through, be my guest on those conquests. Yet oddly, the empath attracts the psychopath, sociopath and infamous narcissist. But why my beautiful caring darling? Are we genuinely blind? Or are we just trying to convert the dissuaded? Because as someone who truly cares about all human beings as an empath, that would be the ideal hypothesis of the matter here. But it’s s...