Still

-
“Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

An innocent bystander,
Still crashing into you at the bar.
I was a dead woman walking,

You still had me from the start.


Now I tread water.

Holding my breath,

Through my feels.

You still fled the scene.

Leaving me to decipher,

What’s really real. 


And as much as I wish,

You’d tell me you’re okay.

With or without me,

I still want you,

To have,

A big smile on your face.


I still hope 

You have,

A good fucking day.

Just thinking about you,

Still makes my heart,

Go fucking insane. 


I still pray for you.

Not knowing,

If you’re alright.

It’s in gods hands.

But I still wish,

You’d put up a fight. 


Now here you are sayin,

You owe me

An explanation.

Does it even matter,

What fucking happened.


I can’t,

Turn my cares off. 

I wanna trust,

All your reasons.

Damn you still

Make my heart feel like,

It’s NFL post fucking season. 


I still care for you. 

It’s still fucking true.

Even if I no longer know,

What the fuck to even do.


Do I unravel.

Lie and tell myself,

I’m over you.

Do I let my heart crumble.

It still feels like it will. 

I can’t help that,

You make me write novels.

And feel like home to me still. 


I still feel that ache.

Still gazing,

At that smirk on your face.

Laying on your chest, 

Still calms brutal quakes.


Just tell me,

We’ll be fucking okay. 

Or tell me I’m crazy. 

For thinking.

You still get to me babe.


Don’t tell me,

You don’t deserve me.

Don’t say those fucking things.

If you never cared,

Just tell me you hate me.


Or call me,

In the middle of the night,

For a ride,

It's okay.

You knew I’d be there.

I still,

Tell you that shit every day. 


I still hoped,

You’d find your way back,

Here and stay.

But you still need to 

Get your shit together,

So I still need to pray. 


Through this uncertainty.

That God brings us,

Right where we’re made. 

Even if it’s not,

Where I want us to be.

I still gotta,

Set my heart free.




Written by Epiphany Tiffany 

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