You’re Not Even Sorry

-
You’re not even sorry.
You’re probably
Conjuring up,
Reasons you hate me.
When I should hate you.
But I don’t know how to go from
Love,
To casting a spell of bad juju on you.


When you did things you said 

you’d never do.

I became,

The sad heartbroken fool. 

Of course we had issues.

But I was in love.

Believing somehow,

We’d still make it through.


I listened,

l always showed up. 

Until you forced me,

To give up on us.

Becoming a stranger,

I slept next to at night.

Your warm familiar touch,

Became stone cold ice.

I cried myself,

To sleep all those nights.

I hated that you,

Couldn’t let go of your 

past life.


When I believed,

We had it all.

I guess I was,

Just stupid in love.

Letting you drag me,

Through the cold hard mud.

After everything,

You had already 

Put me through,

I thought,

I'd been through enough.


You went and topped it all off.

Cheating then

Disappearing on me.

Not even one fucking,

Apology.

That would’ve filtered  

The hurt,

That felt so damn heavy.

Instead it made me 

Say fucked up things,

Because I was so angry. 


I hated how you had,

A hold on me.

When I also,

Had plenty of chances,

To sleep with somebody.

But I stayed fucking loyal,

And slept with the enemy.


Who could heal a heart,

Just to break it allover.

You really wanna,

Be the fucking Joker?

Cause it seems,

A lot more like your character. 

You’re not even sorry. 

Just mentally unaware.

But it’s okay,

I filtered the air.


I expelled,

Your existence.

The second I found out,

About the drugs and affairs.

Still thankful for,

This traumatic nightmare. 

I wouldn’t have,

Found my strength elsewhere. 


I thank God now,

For unanswered prayers.

Before I met you. 

Life was lovely. 

You swore you were different,

Then fucking bamboozled me. 


The woman who,

Still prays for you to get clean. 

But it’s not what you wanted,

Or you would’ve chosen

Our dreams.


Sadly,

We were never meant to be.

Fate was texting and driving.

When you ran into me.

Satan showed up to my door,

Like a god damn daydream.

Minus a few missing teeth.

Shame on me,

For believing your schemes.


So, if you’re not even sorry,

I will be.

Sorry for having faith in you.

But mostly,

I’m sorry for believing it,

When you said that you loved me. 

I’m sorry for choosing you,

Before me.

Hell, I’m sorry for everything.

I might be in the process of healing 

Cause fuck, 

You cut me pretty deep.


Sometimes,

I ask God before I go to sleep.

Have mercy on him,

He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Knowing that’s really 

What my heart needs.

Is mercy. 


Cause it wants to believe,

Even if I’m not asking for me.

That somehow, 

If your not even sorry,

You’ll still find your way,

Back to sobriety. 




Written by Epiphany Tiffany 

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