Epiphany Tiffany

Watching the World Series, Happily by myself. Sipping a beer. Wearing your sweatshirt. Looking up. I remember, The days you were still here. I could see our, Shadows on the walls. But that doesn’t stop me from  Smiling. Or laughing at my own jokes. Or spending time with those  Who do love me. You might’ve fumbled, But baby baby look at me. Unstoppably, living.  When you shut me out.  I tried my best to stick around. Picking up broken pieces, Crying myself to bed. You didn’t care. You said you’d always be there.  Empty promises. Made me show up for myself. I never needed you. I got myself.  You weren’t where I was supposed to stop. I kept riding through your hell, But I got off. Forced to take a different route. Kinda sad. Kinda hurt. Kinda made me want to run right back… But I didn’t … I kept going. I found myself in Spain. A little lost, A little found. But I was no longer,  The founder of your pain. Yea, you made me feel that way..  Covet narcis...

His soul lingers around My atmosphere. Real life is happening. He’s missing everything. Not to mention, His kids birthdays. Milestones, And so many more things. Tears fall, Whenever I think. How awful it must be. To give up on everything.  How can a human being Who truly loved him, Sit and blame his addictions. When realization is what His addiction left me with. I got out, But the residual damage, Lingers inside of this house. Thinking of all of his, Prized possessions. How easy it was, For him to let go of them. The sadness of his loved ones. Weighs heavily on my conscious. Even if his issues, Are no longer my burdens. With invisible line, I still feel connected. As if I could ever, Clean up all his messes. When did his choices, Become my convictions. I’m a kind hearted person, I didn’t deserve this. I worked to damn hard, To end up with, Another abuser. It is really sad, The Prodigies of a love connoisseur. Just cause my heart, Protects, loves and honors. Doesn’t mean that I, Ha...

“The thing about writing is..it lets you hold on to things you lost” - Lonely Planet  How did I get so swept away. When today I’m mad  That I ever let you in. I’m totally embarrassed, To call you my ex. I wish we never met. But that would be a lie If I ever had to admit. You had my heart in your hands. Then fumbled it, Like every other coward fucking man.  Not knowing what to do  With a diamond. It’s not my fault. My decency attracts  people, Who tell me they love me. Then turn around  and fucking break me. Til I’m, Crying and screaming. Begging them not to leave me. Maybe I’m only thinking these things  Cause it’s traumas anniversary. What the fuck happened to me. Am I the problem  For loving solidly. Seeing their flaws, And kissing their scars While they sleep, Peacefully next to me.  Is it my fault for diving deep. Cause I’m not afraid to swim or sink. I’m just tired of drowning. Always the one rescuing. Cause I don’t need someone  to...

You’re not even sorry. You’re probably Conjuring up, Reasons you hate me. When I should hate you. But I don’t know how to go from Love, To casting a spell of bad juju on you. When you did things you said  you’d never do. I became, The sad heartbroken fool.  Of course we had issues. But I was in love. Believing somehow, We’d still make it through. I listened, l always showed up.  Until you forced me, To give up on us. Becoming a stranger, I slept next to at night. Your warm familiar touch, Became stone cold ice. I cried myself, To sleep all those nights. I hated that you, Couldn’t let go of your  past life. When I believed, We had it all. I guess I was, Just stupid in love. Letting you drag me, Through the cold hard mud. After everything, You had already  Put me through, I thought, I'd been through enough. You went and topped it all off. Cheating then Disappearing on me. Not even one fucking, Apology. That would’ve filtered   The hurt, That felt so damn...