An Indestructible Life

Reminiscing a life
we had in our hands.
Ten months ago.
We unpacked boxes
because of our plans.
Somethings,

I’ll just never understand.

I knew you had struggles.
Hell, we all had a past.
What kills me the most is,
I can’t do a damn thing
to fix any of this.
I wish I could’ve. 
I would’ve done anything

for your happiness.

I would’ve done anything 

to put a smile on your face.
I never saw warning signs 

or foul play.
I just loved you,
And all of your baggage anyway.

But I wish you could see
what it did to me.
I wish you could’ve felt everything
I was feeling.
If you came to light,
I’d probably fall into your arms
nonstop crying.
Weeping all the hurt
I’ve been harboring.

Maybe then.
You’d be cognizant of why.
Instead another day passes
we don’t say goodnight.
How long will I feel defeated
by this backslide?
Because I meant it when I said,

I’d fucking love you for life.

I guess I didn’t think

You’d become plagued.
Even if my love ran through
sickness and strength,
I guess I never envisioned
you to be weak.
The man I fell in love with

was tough.
Rode bulls and combatted war in the army.

Although,
I caught wind 

of that fractured heart.
I just figured real love 

could unsplinter the pieces 

that got shivered apart.
And slowly stack up the scraps
Until it reforms

Back into passionate art.

I loved you, that’s why
I sat with you 

Alone in the dirt.
That's why my heart set off 

All kinds of alerts.

If I didn’t care,

I wouldn't have given a damn concern.

That only led me to think about truth.

And the real pain inside

that's captured ahold of you.

I wanted to fix it,

and make everything alright.

I may be CPR Certified. 

But it never taught me how 

to save an indestructible life. 

Written by Epiphany Tiffany