Epiphany Tiffany

When did speaking our mind lead to ghosting or even worse, being blocked? When did emotions become so emotionless? When did dating become so unattached? Am I the only one who admires prosperity? Or someone who values realness? Who actually wants something more than just sex? Is friends with benefits the 2020 version of relationship? But how can you have that type of friendship without it becoming complicated? Because every friends with benefit situation I’ve ever been in, I either got hurt or hurt them. Because somebody always catches feelings. And that type of situation is NEVER mutual. Because if it were, it would be actual monogamy. Who’s to say a friends with benefit situation isn’t an actual type of relationship anyway? When they ask you about your day and pay for your dinner on dates. If two people sort of like each other that’s called dating my dears. But keeping it casual, without strings is simple. It’s fun. It’s easy. No drama, or petty arguments. You don’t have to report tha...

Ever feel emotionally maxed out? Like all the hurt you’ve ever felt is bad credit card debt you wish you could just get rid of? Or when you take your trash out to an apartment garbage to find that it’s just full of shit. Standing there with a full bag of shit. Feeling like a total asshole because you either have to take it on a fucking long ass journey to another trash that’s fucking full or leave it on the floor? Like it’s not your fault there was no where else to put it. So you leave it but then…Feel guilty! Feeling like shit all fucking night so you end up going back and putting it back on your damn porch just to smell up your life. Luckily for me I had self garbage pick up.. but man I can totally see that happening to me.  Because let’s face it, I always get the shit end of the stick. My luck has definitely been tarnished. Hell maybe my luck is fake gold at the end of my lives rainbow. (laugh cry emoji). But seriously. Ever feel like you just wanna file emotional bankruptcy? Be...

Maybe this is what it takes. To realize.  How far I can go without anyone having to carry me through my hard times.  Maybe this is what happens when you’re left heartbroken and alone. But words are empty without meaning, That’s what I should’ve known.  Maybe I fell pretty hard on the ground. As my tears fell just as hard as me. But I prayed and prayed until I finally had the strength inside myself to finally carry me.  Although time stood still.  Cause I needed to heal. From everything that happened to me. But those meaningless thrills  Lead me straight for the hills. To where I can finally see that you’re fucking happy. And it killed me to see. You’ve got everything we ever wanted. Less than a mile away. Funny how life turns out. How things I thought I wanted, Were not made for me.  Maybe those were your dreams. And I just dreamt them too. Probably because I truly loved and only wanted you. And as bad as it hurts sitting with the truth. Maybe I’m fina...

I’m familiar with unsure  feelings that bring out my insecurities.  Not so much with whatever’s going on inside of me. Got me steering away from bar sceneries. Looking around and not seeing a damn thing interesting to me. When I look at you I see everything. Like things I swore off years ago cause my last forever was only three months with me.  And it hurt pretty deep. But honestly I never thought I could get lost in your eyes and forget his entirely.  When I look at you I see us doing silly things. Like, flying high. Ride or dies. Cruising in my Chevy Bella-B. School girl crushin on those gorgeous eyes staring back at me.  Floating on cloud nine. Making this heart race from zero to sixty at the drop of a dime. Playing piano, sipping red wine. Enjoying deep conversations with you all night. Perfect moments captured in real live time. For once in my life I’m not asking why. But God damn I want to try.  A couple years ago I never thought I’d.   Ever...