Fucked Up Chain of Events. (Explicit Warning)

-
The extreme highs,
And bottomless lows,
Of the day to day imprints,
loving you invests. 
Was such an up and down 
Fucked up chain of events. 

I kept bathing in them.
Hoping that you'd go back to
The man I fell in love with.
Happy, not sad.
Two people in love
Together in bed.
No sleepless nights
Praying for him.
Or not knowing 
where the fuck that he is.

The is he alive or deads?
And all the traumatic flights
that took off inside my head.
Then he’d show up
And I’d hug him.
I couldn’t help it, 
I fucking loved him.

But when did loving someone
Unconditionally, 
begin conditioning me?
Not to care when I haven’t 
seen him for two fucking weeks.
Not to wonder who he’s talking to
when he isn’t talking to me.
How can a functioning mind
Not think of these fucking things?

He had no response 
whenever it came to my feelings.
How could you say you love somebody
Taking these hits outta the ring?

Cause I would've loved you
Til I took my last breath.
Doesn’t mean that my heart
deserved to be beaten to death.
Was it you?
Was it the meth?
I wish I knew who to blame
for every ounce of this.

I wanted you back.
I wanted out of this mess.
I guess loving you
Came with all of this.


Written by Epiphany Tiffany 

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