Heart on Lockdown or just tired of BS?
Are we all just single until we settle? Does true love even exist? Because I want to believe it does. But the big question here is... Are we all just scared to be alone? Is that our biggest fear in the world? Because hate to break it to you...my biggest fear is falling in love. Not being alone. Being alone means no one you sleep next to at night is lying to you. Or no one is building you up just break you down. No one to open your car door. But I can open the damn door myself. I don’t need anyone. I just want to want to be with someone. Not because I’m told I need to be. Maybe my friend is right and I am totally rushing a feeling I’m chasing. But I’m done chasing chases. Because whats the point? To be constantly compared to the next hottest twenty year old without kids? I’m completely confident and tame being myself, I don't need judgement. If people don't like or accept me for who I am, I honestly don't really care either way. So yeah, maybe I’m better off keeping my heart on lock down, verses being a hopeless romantic being left hoping. But no matter what dating bullshit comes at me, I still find myself hoping. Because I know there has got to be someone out there like myself, or like my best girlfriends who are totally amazing. I mean I know tons of genuine people. That's why I hope.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in love. Am I allowing myself to be vulnerable by being open? Of course I am. But being skeptical and logical in today’s world is perfectly okay too. Trust me. I’m very trusting, y'all that know me, know that. I put myself out there because I’m not afraid. But I also, keep my heart locked down because of the crap I’ve been through. So is opening your heart to someone else with it on the line just to be shattered true love? Is love just a risk? A gamble? A you’re going to end up hurt but that’s just what it is- LOVE? I beg to differ. Because my idea of being with my true love, isn’t hurting. It’s hurting when they leave of course. Something happens and they disappear, duh it’s going to break it. But being together shouldn’t be hard if you’re with the right one. It should be seamless. Without seams! Like Victoria Secrets T-shirt bra. It’s the perfect everyday bra that keeps you in your comfort and you would never upscale yourself to another because it’s absolutely perfect just the way it is. Just like love. No false personas or extra padding just to make your boobs look perfect. Gosh, is it that terrible to actually want real tits? AKA real Love?
Settlers... I don’t know how you do it. I can’t live a mediocre life. I tried. I did the time clock ticking bomb and still blew myself up. But for what? To be where I thought I was supposed to be at my age? Yes, I have kids, and luckily they turned out alright. But settling isn't the answer people! We want to have kids and settle down because we are so terrified to end up alone. But then we have kids, and bam! Life is hectic for ten long ass years! Then they grow up, and we end up divorced, because we didn't marry for love, we married for them. And guess what, WE'RE STILL ALONE. Somehow creating a family that's so dysfunctional that nobody, not even your dick ass uncle even wants to be there because lets face it, we are all fucked up. So the alcohol gets flowing, and the shit gets talking and all a sudden your aunt is fucking her date in the bathroom while you are crying over your ex who was supposed to be there. But broke your heart two days before Christmas by going back to his kids mom. Your cousin is crying because she is going through lifes bullshit, and the gays are in the corner smiling because they actually got it right by having cats... not kids. Tick that ticker man. Or, you can wait for the right one. Because he's out there minus all that bullshit.
I say solitude is gratitude. I can't stress this enough. Have you ever been to the top of a mountains peak, or hike for that matter and stared out to the abyss? You hear nothing. But you feel amazing right? That is life. The moment you feel happy on a mountains peak alone is when life starts to accept you. When you realize you are good enough. Yeah, getting there might take endless nights of bottles of wine with girlfriends, falling asleep in bar bathrooms by yourself. Throwing up on your friends shoes when ten minutes past and she comes to check on you. Or the random cute dodger hat dude that caught your eye so you buy him a beer and kiss him dude. Or the McDreamy bartender at the winery you ambush and kiss in the bushes dude. Or all the dudes you drunk dial in your phone when you find out your ex got married dude. Or maybe its just infinite tears for years getting over the one that broke your heart dude. Life still keeps going. The second we stop, ours stops. Not everything else. We envision life to be kind, to have our backs when we go through trials. But the truth is. It doesn't, and it isn't. We have to have the strength to be moldable so we can bend with it. To come back stronger, laughing at the chaos that life thinks will tear us down. Cause it won’t. Life may take a few swings, but I will always strike out while I am holding its bat. Because I know I am not in control of my own home runs. But I sure as hell am in control of what I do when I put it down. That's the real true me I am. The hit or miss girl that isn't afraid to strike out. I'm just tired of the bullshit. The kiss a bunch of frogs until you find your prince bullshit. Like if I have to kiss one more frog I'd rather be dead, let alone a part of a fairy tail that is nonexistent. Why cant it be something like "one glass of wine at a time." Ugh. But you know what. I'm still living my best life, even if its just one bottle of wine at a time.
Written By: Tiffany Bales.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in love. Am I allowing myself to be vulnerable by being open? Of course I am. But being skeptical and logical in today’s world is perfectly okay too. Trust me. I’m very trusting, y'all that know me, know that. I put myself out there because I’m not afraid. But I also, keep my heart locked down because of the crap I’ve been through. So is opening your heart to someone else with it on the line just to be shattered true love? Is love just a risk? A gamble? A you’re going to end up hurt but that’s just what it is- LOVE? I beg to differ. Because my idea of being with my true love, isn’t hurting. It’s hurting when they leave of course. Something happens and they disappear, duh it’s going to break it. But being together shouldn’t be hard if you’re with the right one. It should be seamless. Without seams! Like Victoria Secrets T-shirt bra. It’s the perfect everyday bra that keeps you in your comfort and you would never upscale yourself to another because it’s absolutely perfect just the way it is. Just like love. No false personas or extra padding just to make your boobs look perfect. Gosh, is it that terrible to actually want real tits? AKA real Love?
Settlers... I don’t know how you do it. I can’t live a mediocre life. I tried. I did the time clock ticking bomb and still blew myself up. But for what? To be where I thought I was supposed to be at my age? Yes, I have kids, and luckily they turned out alright. But settling isn't the answer people! We want to have kids and settle down because we are so terrified to end up alone. But then we have kids, and bam! Life is hectic for ten long ass years! Then they grow up, and we end up divorced, because we didn't marry for love, we married for them. And guess what, WE'RE STILL ALONE. Somehow creating a family that's so dysfunctional that nobody, not even your dick ass uncle even wants to be there because lets face it, we are all fucked up. So the alcohol gets flowing, and the shit gets talking and all a sudden your aunt is fucking her date in the bathroom while you are crying over your ex who was supposed to be there. But broke your heart two days before Christmas by going back to his kids mom. Your cousin is crying because she is going through lifes bullshit, and the gays are in the corner smiling because they actually got it right by having cats... not kids. Tick that ticker man. Or, you can wait for the right one. Because he's out there minus all that bullshit.
I say solitude is gratitude. I can't stress this enough. Have you ever been to the top of a mountains peak, or hike for that matter and stared out to the abyss? You hear nothing. But you feel amazing right? That is life. The moment you feel happy on a mountains peak alone is when life starts to accept you. When you realize you are good enough. Yeah, getting there might take endless nights of bottles of wine with girlfriends, falling asleep in bar bathrooms by yourself. Throwing up on your friends shoes when ten minutes past and she comes to check on you. Or the random cute dodger hat dude that caught your eye so you buy him a beer and kiss him dude. Or the McDreamy bartender at the winery you ambush and kiss in the bushes dude. Or all the dudes you drunk dial in your phone when you find out your ex got married dude. Or maybe its just infinite tears for years getting over the one that broke your heart dude. Life still keeps going. The second we stop, ours stops. Not everything else. We envision life to be kind, to have our backs when we go through trials. But the truth is. It doesn't, and it isn't. We have to have the strength to be moldable so we can bend with it. To come back stronger, laughing at the chaos that life thinks will tear us down. Cause it won’t. Life may take a few swings, but I will always strike out while I am holding its bat. Because I know I am not in control of my own home runs. But I sure as hell am in control of what I do when I put it down. That's the real true me I am. The hit or miss girl that isn't afraid to strike out. I'm just tired of the bullshit. The kiss a bunch of frogs until you find your prince bullshit. Like if I have to kiss one more frog I'd rather be dead, let alone a part of a fairy tail that is nonexistent. Why cant it be something like "one glass of wine at a time." Ugh. But you know what. I'm still living my best life, even if its just one bottle of wine at a time.
Written By: Tiffany Bales.