Bless this Stress.

Ever feel like you are a ball of stress? Like you have so many things going on and you are bouncing around like a bouncing ball all over the damn place? Like you just can’t get a grasp of yourself. Maybe its work, being a mom, or even a wife. Maybe you are just tired of living up to the image you portray. Or maybe you just are plain up TIRED. I can agree to that! It’s so hard to deal with everyday life battles. Trust. 

My day consists of mini mountains. From waking up at five am, pulling my tired self out of my amazing pure white comfy bed, to get a microsecond to myself to brew a cup of coffee. I enjoy the calm still morning before the chaos begins. Oh, because it will. Once those tiny little humans I’m raising on my own have to be barked at for twenty minutes straight just to get a grunt out of them wake up. Then they cry walk themselves into the same damn bathroom I am trying to get ready in. They sit there pouting, dampening the coffee that’s starting to fuel through my veins. I have to use my football coach/army drill Sargent voice just for them to get into the damn shower! I mean seriously, why do kids HATE the shower? Or is it just mine? I finally get a few seconds to finish getting ready, then have to get the other child into the shower and go through another round of drills all over again. I mean if I wasn’t totally awake and ready to begin my day. I sure am now. I throw a banana inside my purse for breakfast that is full of god knows what. I mean do we totally need to have a purse full of receipts and a huge wallet with no cash in it to buy a damn diet coke from the vending machine in the office anyway. 

Okay, so we are FINALLY inside the car. That’s probably my favorite place to be, because I know we are heading exactly where we need to be. Yet, somehow we ARE ALWAYS running behind. I blast Taylor Swift and finally get a minute to prepare myself for a good day. Positive vibes equal positive minds. Yet dropping the kids off is another challenge. My older one just pushes me away as I try to give him a hug and a kiss. My five-year-old is the total opposite, the stage five cling to my leg, mommy don’t let go kind. Its stressful especially when I work at the same place, so I literally can’t be like all the other parents and say... "Explict" BYYYEEEEE. 

I finally get away from the stage five, feeling so sad for him, but I have so many people that rely on me. I have to brush it off and get to work.

My workday consists of a ton of different things. Helping run and maintain a school is a lot of work, but it’s also a place that feels just like home. Although it gets hectic, sort of like a hurricane that strolls through without anyone being harmed kind. Being there for the students and seeing the smiles on their faces are always priceless. 

When I walk into a class and see the kids huddled up talking about their favorite pets, and seeing them grow into high school freshmen that come visit and actually remember me, brings a sense of purpose into my life no matter how stressful it gets. Like when ten people are asking me to make magic happen instantly, or a kid almost pukes on me while I am trying to get a trash can for him to aim into. Trying to keep an army of students all content and contained in one vicinity for seven straight hours without any drama, well it can be quite challenging. But we do it. Every day we get them home safe and do it all over again the next. My job is not easy, but it’s rewarding, because it challenges me to be better, and mainly, to help others. That’s my purpose. 

The rest of my day consists of rushing home to try to go to the gym to maintain my figure so maybe someday I can find a deserving husband. I mean isn’t that the goal, to find someone who actually wants to help you for once.  Haha right… Okay, someone else you can cater to sounds more like it. So yes, I would like to torture myself with more children someday. I want to settle down when the timing is right, when God brings someone great into our lives. Don’t get me wrong, just because I write about not being in love doesn’t mean I don’t want to be one day. So of course I want to look my best when I meet the real one. Cause honey, I sure as hell met all the wrong ones. The typical first love daydream, the one who broke my heart fifteen times and the reason why I am guarded now one. The oh my what was I thinking last night I met at the bar one. The he’s extremely attractive but dumb as rocks one. The other extremely attractive but damaged one. The its not you it’s me one. The old high school crush that hits you up on Facebook, sliding into your dms like hey how you doin one. The I’m just not that into you but I want you to want me one, but when you want them, they brush you off one. The toxic but disarmingly magnetic one. The I'm tired of all them ones you almost settle with because lets face it, dating sucks one. Okay, I’m not saying all of these are real, a girl never tells her secrets. But what is wrong with not labeling anything and just enjoying a connection? If you feel it you feel it, if you don’t you don’t. We shouldn’t have to run and claim anyone just because we talk to them for 20 seconds. It’s the one that makes you feel like you’ve known them for twenty years that will get you to start to think about something more. Am I even there with anyone? Well that’s for me to figure out. 

After I get my beauty time in, which only lasts for about thirty minutes because I’m getting paged on the loud speaker because my son has to take a crap. Of course he does. Another fifteen minutes later and we are rushing again, and somehow running behind to football practice because just putting gear on takes ten minutes. We left with plenty of time, but somehow someone couldn’t find a shoe so we had to turn around and go back to get it. Typical. 

I finally have a second to sit down to breathe for two and a half hours at practice, but of course I’m an over achiever and signed up to be the team mom and all. I just couldn’t allow myself to just be a normal parent. I had to be the one to be involved. I’m planning fundraisers and food nights, and working on sponsorships and game day gear. Guess who gets to go home and make a few dozen cake pops tonight? But you know what, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m a social butterfly, and I know I’m the best person for this because I know I can handle it. It's once again for my boys and helping others makes me feel great.  Although it's stressful, it’s rewarding seeing how happy the team is. Their bond and knowing my kids are a part of this team, I would do anything just to ensure of it any day.

Practice is finally over and it's late but we need to eat dinner. I usually skip it because I’m too tired to eat. But still pick the kids up chicken nuggets from the local drive thru. Or sometimes if I’m feeling up to it, I’ll skip the gym and make a good home cooked meal before practice. That’s only so I don’t have to worry about lunch the next day, so I’m winning in that aspect. Then it's baths and bed for them. They pass out and I’m usually still up cleaning or writing. I finally dip into a hot bath and relax and think about all of the little mountains I hurtled over and they all seem so small. 

I have been through a lot, but I’m finally in a place where I can recognize that I feel stress, but I’m at peace with it. All of the stress that I deal with shouldn’t even be considered stressful. But a lot of those little stressful moments can add up to a lot and will if you don’t tame it. Someone extremely wise told me to put a number on my stress, and label it from a one to ten. So when you do that, you can better understand how stressed you truly are in the moment. We all hold on to our little level ones and twos, by the end of the day, are total balls of stress because we hold on to them. We need to let go of the ones and twos. The small things are just life challenging us. Of course there are times in our life when we face a nine or god forbid ten, but that’s when it is appropriate to grieve and heal. Time heals all wounds. We need to know this. We need to stop stressing over the things we cannot control and just be thankful that we have a busy life. That we are needed and we are there for other people. Because to you, you may feel like you have had it up to the ceiling with the little ones and twos of annoying people "bugging you" but to them, you are the smile that brightens their entire day, because they are the ones going through the nines and tens. They need your help. 

So try not to think about yourself. Help others. Bless your stress. Embrace it. Be thankful for it. Complaining only puts a damper on your own attitude and spreads onto others. Yes, it might feel necessary to want to comment on what he or she said or did, but it doesn’t matter. It’s all petty at the end of the day.

We all carry the power to brighten someone’s day, even our own by letting go of the small stuff. Stop stressing and start blessing. Bless others with your ability to help them. Be available when someone reaches out. Don’t be that asshole that hits decline. If I can do it, anyone can. Because I’m just one human out of seven billion, just like you. I love all of humanity because we all deserve kindness, compassion and shit, help from others. So instead of being stressed for this mess, I will be blessed for this stress because without it, I am nothing. I would sure as hell rather have a plate full and no time for myself, than all the time to myself with an empty plate. We all have the choice, we can stress and be that mean person cursing and cutting people off while racing to the red light. Or if you’re a first responder and truly need to race, don’t stop, I respect you. Unless you have flashing lights above your vehicle, not behind it, slow down, take a deep breath and tell yourself it’s going to be okay. It’s just a stress level one and a two in a world full of tens. Remember that.  

Written by Epiphany Tiffany