Epiphany Tiffany

Maybe I should have listened to my intuitional hesitance. Or have been a little bit more reluctant.  Rather than taking him to a friends house. But my gut never warned me or advised me to watch out.  It felt blissful because he swept me up and made me feel comfortable. A Seager look-alike, blonde hair, blue eyes and a smile that reeled me in. His boyish look and love for sports he really charmed me with. His sweetness captivated me.  So I caved and let a moment of passion devour me. But hours made the good morning calls nonexistent. And the silence became the only thing left consistent.   Making me feel awkwardly uncomfortable,  As I realized a few things about him that made me feel skeptical. Is it normal to have questions consume my thoughts that make me over think? Or to ask myself, Is what happened last night in my back seat, The only thing he ever wanted from me?  Turns out his talk was cheap. As I found out about his lying schemes. Telling me hop...

“I can’t stop you from leaving, and you can’t stop me from loving you” - Gone West   “I will always love you.” Why sing that to me  if you didn’t mean it? Just for me to remove  The Cure “Lovesong” off of my playlist? I wish I could take it back now  if I’m being honest.  Because you found your happiness.  I’m left with the residue of these heartaches  that you left me with.  The pain fades as time passes by, But the scars still linger like tattoos  inside of my brain that keep asking myself why.  Why I thought forever with you  would of been like  spending eternity in heaven.  But it’s not my fault what could’ve been didn’t happen. And it has been a long road getting over you. So please don’t let your mind ever accrue, Thoughts about me. Because I’ve been praying for decades  for that chain around my heart to break free.   Because seriously. Twice in two decades  with matching five years of heartbreaking hu...

Sometimes I find myself talking to your ghost. Maybe because I never let your spirit go. Or maybe your phantom speaks to my thoughts. I’ll reply if I were talking to you when evidently I’m not.  Or maybe your thoughts  of  me speak to you , Loudly enough my mind can hear them too.   I hope you know I’m trying my best to bury you . But I can’t fast forward my heart to when it forgets about you.  Although I have accepted what is. So I wish the lingering smoke of what ifs would vacate my premises.  But it sticks to my kind heart like the smell of smoke lingers inside of a smokers car.  My only salvation   is how I have made it thus far.   Because every now and then I  pass the graveyard on my way home, With hopes to see you once more before I let these feelings go. Maybe I wouldn’t wonder about you if life would just let me move on.  Or if the white noise would stop playing all of those sad country love songs.  Making me pray more...