Epiphany Tiffany

"Don't waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come." -Mario Quintana That first time feeling. The excitement. The send me to heaven with that smile. The feeling inside you get when you receive a text or call from them. That giddy, young feeling that we want to feel all the time. It's instant attraction, plus the unknown. The mystery of whats to come next. This is the feeling we want to keep, so why does it go away?  What is so damn good about these butterflies anyway? Because we all know it fades. Or does it if we are with the right one, will those butterflies stay? I'd like to hope so. But all I've witnessed is break ups, divorces, and hurtful heartbreaks all because of those damn butterflies. So it had me thinking. Maybe if we stop allowing the instant gratifications to lead to our choices, we would be able to find something more enduring. Maybe if we actually allowed ourselves time to chase our own dreams to build ou...

I wish you would’ve just told me the hurtful truth. Instead of leaving my heart left to assume. With everything else that happened, it’s fair to say that my heart had been through enough. So I expected there to be solid hope for the both of us. I even waited for you to come back. And prayed for you. Because of the common decency that you lacked. As I held on to the idea of what we could have. Believing with my entire being that we could triumph anything bad. Because the truth is, we already have. But history always repeats itself, I should have known that. Maybe I wouldn’t have fed the image of hope inside of my mind. If you would have been able to tell me that you weren’t coming back to me this time. Or maybe the words you whispered before you left eased my broken smile. As my heart shattered into a million pieces, your hopeful words made the heartbreak worthwhile. And I believed that you meant it. Even though it was the first and last time you ever said it. Making my heart launch ...

It replenishes precarious feelings with lonely voids. As I look everywhere just to hear your caring voice. Lacking essential nutrients that my heart needs to breathe. Weighing heavy on my lungs but I still somehow find relief. Because my vitals are fine. But the lack of physical touch averts me from being divine. Shedding pounds cause I don’t really want to eat. Cause they say when you’re really happy you gain extra weight. Then there's the ones that step up to the plate. But strike out because they only make themselves seem great. And seeming and seeing are easily mistaken differences. Only causing another round of holistic healing treatments. Being strong and beautiful is a misleading facade. Because people assume you will be okay so they can easily move on. Keeping their feelings nonchalantly withheld. Leaving you to find the remedy all by yourself. But that creates false wounds. Tricking my mind to believe that my heart has been bruised. ...